


Champion

by ARTmeg



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Action, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awesome Gwen, Bromance, Drama, Fights, Final Battle, Friendship, Humor, Hurt Merlin, Hurt/Comfort, I Promise it Ends Happy, Kings & Queens, Knights - Freeform, Magic Revealed, Season/Series 05 Merlin, Single combat, Swords & Sorcery, Temporary Character Death, War, failed healing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-07
Updated: 2013-05-07
Packaged: 2017-12-10 16:10:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 26,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/787943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ARTmeg/pseuds/ARTmeg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Arthur, Leon, Elyan, Emanuel, and Moffat are led into a trap and captured on Caerleon territory, Gwen is prompted to invoke the right of single combat. But when Caerleon's champion is revealed to be a powerful sorceress, Merlin must once again take on the guise of Emrys to fight for Camelot, and discover just how much he is willing to sacrifice for his friends. (T for future violence.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Supplies

**Author's Note:**

> Excerpt: 
> 
> Looking at Merlin with baleful eyes, Gaius suddenly appeared much older than he usually did, "Have you ever wondered if your destiny asks too much of you?"
> 
> Merlin shook his head slightly, "I don't let myself. And even if it wasn't my destiny, I would still fight because he's my best friend. "It was the first time he had said those exact words aloud, and at that moment Merlin realized how true that was: if Arthur died it would be like losing a crucial part of himself. He would forever be incomplete. 

It was a pleasant summers day, the sun shining down through the forest canopy onto the trail along which seven horses and their riders were traveling at a leisurely pace.

It was obvious that they were all good friends, though the two in back seemed a little less comfortable. In fact, the newest Knight known as Emanuel was actually riding backwards, "Melding the saddle," as Percival called it. It made perfect sense to the group. As Leon said, it was in accordance with the ancient tradition of… Melding. Gwaine had assured Emanuel that they all had to do it on the way back from their first patrol. Merlin felt a little bad for the naive young man, but not nearly enough to say anything.

Now there was a round of fresh banter going on among the five towards the front:

"Well if somebody hadn't set my medical supplies on fire as a distraction then I wouldn't have to go and search for new ones now would I." said Merlin pointedly, looking over his shoulder at Gwaine.

"Hey," Gwaine raised one hand in surrender, "It was the closest thing to me at the time. And how was I supposed to know that that was the medical bag?"

"Because it's the same bag that Merlin always brings on our various excursions." said Leon, amused by Gwaine's ignorance.

"Quite a distinctive look to it," added Arthur with a smirk.

"Come on you guys, give Gwaine a break. I'm sure he was merely under the impression that they were Moffat's beauty supplies." reasoned Elyan graciously as he attempted to include the two Knights riding behind him.

Moffat wasn't quite sure how to feel about this, so simply sat in an awkward silence as the rest of them burst out laughing. Well, everyone except Percival.

"This would all be much funnier if the beast's poison wasn't running through my veins at this very moment, causing me excruciating pain," said Percival flatly, looking rather pale and a little unsteady on his steed. And although Gwaine would never admit it, the reason he was riding so close beside Percival was in case he had to catch him.

"We'll stop here, have some lunch and send Merlin off to find whatever plants or weeds he needs to dull your pain and slow the spread of the poison." Said Arthur, steering his black stallion towards a small, flat clearing.

"Hey you rhymed," said Leon amused. Then he obviously couldn't resist adding, "I guess your poetry sessions have been going nicely."

The glare that Arthur bestowed upon Leon as all the other's guffawed was one Merlin knew very well, and it was quite refreshing to see it directed at somebody else for a change.

They dismounted, securing their horse to trees. Giving his chestnut mare a fond pat, Merlin detached the large sack containing most of the cooking supplies, and another containing most of the food. It wasn't like they were setting up for any large amount of time, so it went much faster than it would that night. Percival had tried to help, but had been in too much pain to lift anything and had to sit down.

"Go on then Merlin, you also need to make us lunch so there is no time to waste!" encouraged Arthur mockingly.

"Wouldn't it be best if you learn how to cook by yourself?" commented Merlin dryly.

Grinning Arthur raised his eyebrows "Why? That's what I have you for."

"What happens when I'm not around?" he pointed out.

Arthur scoffed at that, "Don't be stupid Merlin, of course you'll always be there. Now, off you go then." He made little shooing motions with his hand.

Rolling his eyes in exasperation, Merlin folded his arms, "Do you always have to be such a dollop-head?"

"No matter how many times you use it," said Arthur in a matter-of-fact voice, "that will never be a real word."

"Whatever you say your Majesty." The way Merlin said the title made it seem more like an insult than anything else. Feeling a tad rebellious Merlin made sure to dawdle just long enough to make it clear he was going on his own account and not on Arthur's orders. When he did turn and set off towards the trees Gwaine jogged to catch up with him.

Slowing back to a walk when he reached Merlin Gwaine smiled, "Here, I'll come along."

Merlin smiled back, glad for his company. After walking a ways into the trees Merlin stopped and turned to Gwaine, "We're looking for some Arctus. It grows in small patches, and the leaves are about this big with jagged edges," Merlin made his fingers into a circle about the size of a copper shilling to indicate the size. "This time of year there may be small yellow flowers with red centers. It looks like it could be poisonous, but it's not."

Nodding Gwaine gave a little salute, "got it, let's get started."

 

========

 

"Hey Merlin, mate, did you say yellow flowers with red centers, or red flowers with yellow centers?" called Gwaine sometime later, fingering a rather unfriendly looking plant. When there was no answer he turned on the balls of his feet, looking in the direction he had last seen his friend "Merlin?" He waited, listening for a reply.

He began to walk towards the last place he knew Merlin had been he heard a shout which was abruptly cut off. In less than a second Gwaine's sword was in his hand and he had begun moving swiftly towards where it had come from. He came to a rocky ride and slowed, hearing scuffling coming from the bottom. Peering over he saw Merlin, but he wasn't alone. There was a group of men around him, one of them pinning his weakly writhing form to the ground with his knee planted between his shoulder blades. He hand a handful of Merlin's hair and was pulling his head back, one beefy arm wrapped around his neck, effectively cutting off his air. Even as Gwaine watched Merlin slowly grew still, the lack of oxygen making him pass out.

There were only about five of them and Gwaine was sure he could take them by himself, but before he could make a move or even shout for assistance from the others he heard a twig crack behind him. Gwaine managed nothing more than a half turn before a man, with a sickening crack, struck the side of his head with the hilt of a sword. Gwaine was still half conscious when the man used his foot to shove him off the rock shelf and fell twenty five feet to the ground, his head slamming against the ground, passing out cold.

 

========

 

The others had finished setting up ages ago, and were now lounging around the crackling fire. Arthur had only been goading Merlin when he said Merlin would have to make lunch, and there was a pot of stew simmering over the fire. Of course Arthur hadn't been to one to make it; he was helpless when it came to cooking. Instead Elyan had been the one to skillfully throw it together.

It was only when the topic of conversation strayed to girls that Arthur realized exactly how long Gwaine and Merlin had been gone. He didn't know why, but as soon as this thought occurred to him he got an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach as though something was wrong.

He caught Leon's eye who nodded, confirming he felt the same. forcing himself to remain calm Arthur stood, stretching "Come on, let's go after them. Merlin's probably lost in the woods, or perhaps he fell and knocked himself out. Wouldn't be the first time.

Percival and Emanuel stayed behind while the others set out. It wasn't hard to follow them; neither of them had been making any effort to conceal their tracks. By the time they had reached a small rocky cliff Arthur and the others had all drawn their swords.

Holding up a hand to silently tell the others to stop, Arthur soundlessly approached the edge, peering over it. Even from this distance he could see the signs of a struggle at the bottom of the rocks, and looking down saw Gwaine lying on his back on the rocks at the bottom, eyes closed and completely motionless. Arthur could see his chest was moving as he breathed, but blood was staining the rocks around his head.

"Gwaine!" shouted Arthur, sheathing his sword and swiftly but carefully climbing down to him, quickly followed by the other Knights. Kneeling by Gwaine he saw that the blood was from a head wound. Head wounds always bled rather profusely, so upon inspection Arthur found it wasn't very serious. Although he did think it would be best to stop the bleeding.

He left that to Leon while he went over to inspect the scene of an obvious struggle, and the more he saw the colder he got. He had no doubt that the person who had been the subject of this struggle was Merlin, and from the footprints he could see he had been quite outnumbered. There were blood spots on the ground, though Arthur had no way of knowing if they had come from Merlin or any of his assailants, or even possibly both.

He could see they had headed East and had an urge to go back and pack up at once so they could go after them, but felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Elyan

"We have to be patient, we need to make sure Gwaine is okay first and find out what we'd be facing from him. And besides, we don't know if Gwaine is really okay, and we won't until he wakes up."

There was too much sense in this statement for Arthur to ignore and he nodded, walking back over to Gwaine. None of them had wanted to take the risk moving Gwaine farther than the softer ground and off the rocks, and all became increasingly concerned when almost an hour passed and Gwaine did not wake. By that time both Percival and Emanuel had grown concerned about their long absence and had followed after them.

Eventually Gwaine cracked open his eyes, moaning, and In an instant they were all crowding around him. Looking at them one by ones Gwaine smiled weakly, "Well at least I know I didn't die and go to heaven- all of you lot are here."

Arthur couldn't help but smile in relief; if Gwaine was feeling well enough to crack lame jokes he must not be in danger of dying. Actually he supposed that didn't mean much, Gwaine would be the kind of person completely willing to crack jokes until his very last breath.

"Does anybody else hear ringing?" asked Gwaine absently, massaging his temples and running his hand over the cloth bandage Leon had wrapped around his head to stop the bleeding. He attempted to sit up, only to have Arthur push him back, "Stay down, rest."

'A concussion' realized Arthur, observing how Gwaine looked rather unfocused and the slight slur in his speech.

"Gwaine, Gwaine you have to concentrate" said Leon soothingly and yet with a tone of urgency that Gwaine couldn't ignore "What happened to Merlin?"

Gwaine's eyes widened slightly, "That's right, Merlin; he's in trouble!"

Trying to stay patient and calm Arthur nodded agreement, "Yes, yes we know that, but what happened? What or who did this?"

"I… I can't…" Gwaine pressed one hand to his head and squeezed his eyes tightly, obviously trying to remember "There were… men. They took him; I got attacked before I could do anything to help."

For Arthur It was one thing to see the scene of abduction, but another to have the events confirmed. "Was he alive?"

Nodding, Gwaine closed his eyes tightly, "I think so, I can't remember very clearly."

Crossing his arms Emanuel frowned slightly, not really understanding the level of concern his King and fellow Knights were showing for one simple servant. He had heard that Arthur was fond of the boy, but had never actually witnessed it himself, "They must have been slavers, who else would be interested in taking Merlin?"

"Why didn't they take Gwaine as well?" asked Elyan confused. "It would have been easy enough, he's helpless in the state he's in."

It was Leon who answered this, "No doubt that they thought we wouldn't follow them if they only took Merlin." he glanced at Arthur expectantly, "I take it we are going after him, correct?"

"Absolutely." confirmed Arthur without hesitation. Merlin would never abandon him, and he was never going to abandon Merlin. It wasn't even an option just to leave him.

"Sire, it looks like they're heading North, into Queen Jezebel's kingdom." said Moffat cautiously "Are you sure we should-"

"We must catch up to them before they have time to reach their hide out, and preferably before the border."Interrupted Arthur, then looking straight at Moffat he said firmly "We are not going to abandon Merlin, but neither can we exactly lead a small army into Queen Jezebel's kingdom to get him, so our best chance is now". His tone left no room for argument, and Moffat gave up without a fight.

Next, Arthur turned to Gwaine who was still laying on the ground, still rather dazed and confused; then at Percival who had his right arm tied tightly to his chest, obviously still in great pain but not voicing it," Gwaine, you take Percival back with you. Both of you need to get to Gaius so he can treat you."

Predictably, Gwaine was not pleased with this idea, "Wouldn't it be better if I come with you?"

"You very clearly have a concussion, and you are still bleeding. You need Gaius to look at you."

"I'm fine!" protested Gwaine stubbornly.

"It's not up for discussion Gwaine, now go." said Arthur sternly, making it clear that this was his final decision. Gwaine glowered and Arthur softened, "It's alright, we'll bring Merlin back safely."

Reluctantly Gwaine nodded, realizing that this was a fight he could not win, "We'll see you soon then."


	2. Tricks and Traps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur and the Knights set out after Merlin, but find out that everything is not as it seems.

After parting ways with Gwaine and Percival, Arthur, Leon, Elyan, Emanuel, and Moffat had tracked the slavers until it grew too dark and they were forced to stop. They had gone almost another full day without even a glimpse of their targets. They had just crossed the border and Arthur was feeling rather nervous about it- Queen Jezebel had good reason to hate him and would not take kindly if she heard he had entered her lands without permission.

He had just reflected upon this when there was a whistling sound and Sir Moffat fell out of his saddle, a bolt protruding from his neck. Mere moments later there was a sudden outbreak of rather aggressive shouting, and from either side men Arthur assumed to be slavers came charging towards them. It was an ambush!

They were upon them in no time and Arthur parried a strike, ducking under another and stabbing forwards, running one of his two opponents through before pivoting and knocking away a thrust from the second, slashing the man across the chest. The adrenalin he always felt when fighting surged through him, bringing with it a feeling of something that was almost exhilaration. They were vastly outnumbered but he felt a rush of pride when with a quick glance he saw his knights holding their own against at least two at a time.

It was quickly followed with a stab of sorrow for Moffat who was lying dead on the ground, the bolt still stuck in his throat.

He was distracted by another attacker and slammed his sword hilt-to-hilt with the slavers before bearing up, lashing out with his foot, knocking him off balance and finally running him through.

Suddenly an abnormally long mace wrapped around his sword's blade, pulling it from his hands. Arthur didn't give the man a change to attack again however, bull-rushing him and tackling him to the ground, slamming his shoulder straight against the man's sternum as he did. The body of the last slaver he had slain was only feet away and he reached for the man's sword which was still grasped in his hand even in death. But before he could finish his dazed, wheezing opponent, a gravelly voice boomed across the camp.

"Drop your weapons or the boy dies!"

Looking over towards the source of the shout, Arthur saw a man with one large, muscled arm wrapped around Merlin and holding a sword to his throat. Arthur felt a temporary rush of relief; after looking Merlin over he couldn't see any injuries, although his hands were tied behind him and a he had a sack pulled over his head.

Arthur expected Merlin to say something stupid and reckless as usual like, "don't listen to him," or, "don't worry about me!" but he didn't. Instead Merlin surprised him by shouting "Help me Arthur!" sounding frightened, his voice muffled by the sack.

This was so out of character that it quite worried Arthur, what could they have done to make him so scared?

Arthur really saw no alternative, so he bent over, laying his sword on the ground. He nodded to the other Knights and they did the same. The man holding Merlin hostage jerked his head and slavers forced them all to their knees, taking their weapons. Arthur tried to think of ways out of this situation, and had actually come up with several theories when something very odd happened: the man released Merlin and cut the ropes around his wrists. Merlin then reached up and tugged off the sack, shaking out his raven colored hair. Only, it wasn't Merlin at all. They looked remarkable alike: had the same voice, even had the same distinctive cheekbones, but it was not his manservant.

It took Arthur only a moment to put together what had happened: It had all been a trap, and it had worked perfectly.

"This was all just to get us over the border." spat Elyan, "You never really took Merlin from the forest!"

"No, you don't say." said the impostor in an extraordinarily sarcastic voice that was completely identical to Merlin's.

"That was so easy it was almost disappointing." remarked the slaver who had previously been holding "Merlin" hostage.

"I've done my part, now take this blasted enchantment off me, I hate his voice" said Merlin's look alike.

"You crossed the border of your own free will, and now you are trespassing on Caerleon's lands. In accordance, you will be bound and taken to Queen Jezebel. She will decide your fate."

Suddenly Arthur felt a prick on his neck and moments later fell forwards, oddly detached from his body. In only a few seconds whatever had coated the darts protruding from his and his Knights necks had knocked them all out.

 

=========

 

Slowly emerging from unconsciousness, Merlin found himself lying on his side and still on the forest floor. His head felt as though it had been cleaved in two and he lay still, hoping that would make it hurt less. What had happened? The last thing he remembered, he was about to answer Gwaine's question about the flower, then…He was finding it hard to concentrate, a throbbing pain in his shoulder distracting him. But It was the pain that finally triggered his memory and caused his eyes to fly open in panic: he had got shot with a bolt in the shoulder, fallen off the edge of the shelf of rock he had been walking along, and knocked himself out when his head struck the rocks at the bottom!

Becoming aware of rough voices Merlin turned his head towards the sound, "They crossed the border?" said a man's gruff voice, an accent Merlin had never heard before slurring his words into an almost drawl.

"Not yet, but we're ready for when they do," reported another man.

Vision still slightly unfocused Merlin slowly became more aware of his surroundings, particularly the fact that his wrists were tied in front of him. He tried to sit up but his strength left him and he fell back onto his side. The three men arguing only feet away just ignored him, not even sparing him a glance.

"They do not suspect a trap?"

"No, all they can think about is rescuing the boy."

Merlin tried again and this time managed to sit up, propping his back against a tree, "What have you done…" he mumbled though a kind of haze, pressing one hand to his newly discovered head wound from which blood was dripping down the side of his face. Or at least, he tried to mumble. When he went through the motions of speech, it felt as though something was choking him and he had to stop. He looked down at his shoulder to see his shirt on his right shoulder stained with blood, turning it a darker blue. His jacket was gone, removed while he had been unconscious. They must have taken it while retying his hands in front of him, although the purpose of this action was a mystery.

For the first time the three men turned their attention to him. The largest swaggered towards Merlin, planting his hands on his hips and staring down at him with a sneer "That pain you're feeling about now? That's from the bolt in your shoulder, poisoned it was. Don't worry it won't kill you though, we still need you. See, your friends believe you have been captured by slavers and are going after the person they believe to be you as we speak. Meanwhile, tomorrow we will send you to take a message back to Camelot for us. But for now we really aren't interested in listening to yer yapping" He pressed two fingers to Merlin's forehead "Onslaep nu".

Merlin was powerless to resist the spell the man draped over his mind and sank into an enchanted sleep full of nightmares.

. . .

The next time Merlin opened his eyes he was feeling a little dizzy, panic flooding through him as the memories of what had happened came back. Arthur and the other's were in danger! The man who had put him under using magic was crouched down beside Merlin. "You awake? Good. Now, we're going to send you running back home where you will tell them that your King and his Knights have strayed into Queen Jezebel's kingdom and as a result been taken prisoner. This has been seen as an act of war, and that the Kingdom of Camelot should expect the appropriate retaliation.

It occurred to Merlin how easy it would be to kill them and then follow and rescue Arthur and the Knights. But then it also occurred to him that that wasn't really true: he could barely move on his own, and when he did it hurt. Recalling how the man had said the bolt had been poisoned Merlin felt his heart sink. He may be stubborn, powerful, and determined, but he couldn't lay siege to an entire castle in this condition. No matter how much he hated it, his best chance was to get back to Camelot and warn them.

"Hurry up Stan, we need to follow them. Make sure we get our reward for our services." said a third man, who unlike the other two was rather skinny and spoke with a wheezy voice that for some reason instantly irritated Merlin.

The man named Stan glanced at the skinny man, "Don't tell me what to do". Seizing Merlin by the back of his shirt he dragged him across the clearing to where the slavers three horses had been tethered and hauled him easily up onto a handsome ivory stallion.

"Why are you sending him on my horse!" burst out the thin man at once, his voice just a winey as a small child's.

"Because you irritate me more than Sam," said Stan who Merlin had guessed was the leader of their little motley crew of three.

"Aren't you going to untie me?" Asked Merlin weakly, sagging forwards in the saddle.

"No." Taking the reins Stan clicked his tongue, petting the agitated horse's neck to calm him. Leaning in he whispered something in the horse's ear and his eyes flashed gold, "Hang on tight Merlin." he drawled, "We wouldn't' want you to fall off too soon". He stepped back, releasing the stallions harness, and it was all Merlin could do to hang on as it lunged forwards, galloping back towards Camelot and away from Arthur.

 

=========

 

Gwaine had been lingering in the courtyard for almost a day since they had returned, and was toying with the idea of disobeying both Gaius and Gwen's orders to ride out and find the others. In addition to the half day he had when first parting from the other knights it had had taken almost an entire day and a half of riding to reach Camelot, and he had been pacing in the courtyard for hours since. He had just decided that concussion and orders or not, he would set off to meet the others when he heard shouts and the sound of hooves. A jolt of relief was quickly doused when he realized that it was only one horse, and if it were the knights there would be at least six. Besides, it was unlikely they would be back so quickly.

An ivory stallion burst through the gate, a figure sagging forward in the saddle and barely keeping himself in place. The horse slowed to a trot as it approached the centre of the courtyard, and the person he now recognized as Merlin slid limply out of the saddle, landing on his back, his hands tied in front of him. The horse wasn't in very good shape either, eyes rolling and its flanks heaving, soaked with sweat as though it had run for miles without stopping. There was crimson blood staining its shoulder, a violent contrast to the ivory of its coat. Alarmed Gwaine dashed over, and upon seeing the dark stain on Merlin's left shoulder realized that the blood on the stallion's neck was from him. One side of Merlin's face was also crusted with blood from a nasty gash on his forehead, though thankfully that blood wasn't fresh.

Gwaine dropped to his knees beside his trembling friend, "Merlin!" Merlin didn't respond, his forehead glistening with sweat. Gwaine felt a jolt of alarm, quickly pulling aside Merlin's neckerchief to feel for a pulse and sighing with relief when he found one; although it was weak and rather unsteady. His relief quickly vanished however when he felt how warm his skin was, and placing a hand on Merlin's forehead he realized that he had a burning fever. A crowd was gathering by now and Gwaine easily scooped Merlin up into his arms, the crowd parting for him as he rushed him to Gaius's quarters.

. . .

Cutting open Merlin's shirt, Gaius exposed the shoulder injury, "It's a shoulder wound so the bolt missed anything of real importance, but he has lost a lot of blood and by the look of him it seems to have been poisoned." Gaius took a knife and severed the bonds around Merlin's wrists, exposing raw and chaffed skin where the rope had constantly rubbed against it. "It seems as if he's been wounded like this for a little less than three days."

"He's not in danger of dying though, right?" said Gwaine anxiously, standing on the other side of Merlin from Gaius.

"He has lost a lot of blood, and from his symptoms I believe the poison to be of the Judas tree, slow working but extremely painful. I will have an antidote ready within a few hours, but if we work quickly we can save him. Although I cannot be sure how long it will take him to wake up, he is very weak."

"Why isn't he dead?"

"Would you prefer him to be so?" snapped Gaius, his anxiety making him peevish.

"Of course not!" said Gwaine hurriedly. "All I'm saying, is there must be a reason. There is no way he could have escaped like this on his own, so they let him go. It's obvious this must have been some sort of trap, and a clever one too. Not many people would know that Arthur would go after his servant if he was taken, or appeared to be. It looked pretty convincing, fooled me completely."

Gaius nodded, "We'll have to wait till he wakes up to know Merlin's side of the story, I have no doubt it will be very insightful."

Gwaine looked at Merlin anxiously, imagining all the worst scenarios.

Suddenly without any warning Gwen burst into the room, making them both jump. "I just heard what happened," rushing over she nudged Gwaine aside, taking in Merlin's faint shivering and sweat soaked shirt. Anxiously she laid a hand on his forehead, smoothing his damp hair away from his face. "He's going to be okay though, right?"

Nodding Gwaine ran one hand through his luscious hair like he sometimes did in times of stress, "Gaius says he will recover. Whoever attacked him didn't want him dead, or else they would have given him something other than a shoulder wound, and not let him go in the first place."

Biting her lower lip in anxiety Gwen fetched the pitcher of water from the dining table and soaked a clean cloth in the lukewarm water, laying it across Merlin's forehead.

"Gwaine," said Gaius holding out a pail, "hand me those bandages on the table there and fetch some fresh water."

Though many would have protested, saying that they were a Knight and such things were below them, Gwaine took it without hesitation and hurried from the room.


	3. The Drums of War

Candles flickered, illuminating the throne room of Caerleon. Queen Jezebel sat on a throne of intricately carved wood, inlaid with gold and precious jewels. Long silver hair cascaded over her shoulders and she wore a crimson gown, threaded with thread as silver as her hair. Despite the elegant appearance there was nothing gentle about her, her aged but pretty features sharp and fierce like a hawk's.

A woman shrouded in darkness was kneeling before her, guards flanking her on either side, tense and ready to attack at a moment's notice.

"What is your purpose here?" Queen Jezebel's voice rang through the room, sharp but genuinely curious.

"Only to ask how you like my gift." said the dark woman smoothly.

"What gift are you talking about?"

The woman smiled, "Arthur Pendragon and his knights of course, do you think he would have come onto your land without a good reason?"

Queen Jezebel narrowed her eyes, "Are you saying you had something to do with it?"

"Yes, I am. I lured them from the safety of their own kingdom by the thought that Arthur's man-servant had been taken by slavers." The woman sounded contemptuous at the thought that they would stray across the border for such an insignificant person.

Queen Jezebel scoffed at that, "They entered our land for the sake of a servant? I find that hard to believe."

"It is ridiculous what any one of them would do for that particular servant," hissed the woman bitterly.

Queen Jezebel nodded to the guards with their weapons pointed at the woman and reluctantly but obediently they drew back, allowing her to stand.

"If that is true then you will be glad to know that the Knights and Arthur are to be put to death at sunrise tomorrow."

The woman's mouth quirked up into a smile, "May I suggest something even more satisfying?"

"What do you propose?"

The woman raised her chin, "To try and save her King, Guinevere will no doubt march Camelot's armies against you, and when she does your army will meet hers."

Queen Jezebel waved her comment away, "I already know this, and we are prepared. Camelot's army will fall to ours."

"I have a way to save hundreds, if not thousands of your men's lives." the woman went down on one knee, bowing "If the right of single combat is invoked then I would be willing to fight as your champion, no mere Knight can stand against me. Your victory will be assured, and you will get what you want without losing a single man."

Looking intrigued by the notion Queen Jezebel leaned back, "I doubt that your offer comes without a price. What would you want in return?"

The woman's answer was swift, "I would ask to be the one to kill Arthur Pendragon and his Knights. Part of your terms would be that if they lose, all the Knights followed by Arthur are to be put to death on the field. Then because Guinevere is so noble, they will have to follow their side of the bargain and retreat without any retaliation.

"What makes you so sure that they will accept the challenge of single combat, especially with stakes such as that?"

"It will be you who accepts it, I have a man among Camelot's ranks and he would be the one to present the idea to her; to make Guinevere think it is her idea. Your armies will meet, and she will be the one to seek a meeting with you."

"I must admit that this is intriguing, and I also know from hearsay that you are capable." There was a long silence as Queen Jezebel considered her, "Very well then."

===========

It took an entire day for Merlin to wake up and another half day for him to become lucid enough to speak. The first thing he had done after regaining his senses was to report both what had happened, and the message he had been given. It hadn't been happy news.

That had been the day before, and by now Camelot's army was ready to march. In Arthur's absence Gwen had taken charge, and in Merlin's opinion was handling it very well.

Merlin, Gwaine, and Percival had finally been released from the physician's care, Gaius deeming them "recovered enough to be involved." All three were sporting stitches: Percival in his arm, Gwaine on the back of his head, and Merlin on his shoulder. Merlin hated stitches, but it would be very suspicious if his wounds suddenly vanished mysteriously, so he couldn't use magic to heal himself.

It was a long and arduous trip to the valley of Carlo, and by the time they arrived Carleon's army was already ready and waiting. Camelot's forces were camped on the other side of the valley, and for now both sides were settled for the day. Tomorrow they would meet in battle, but today was for preparing.

Merlin had finished helping Gaius set up the medical tent and had slipped through the camp to Gwen's tent, stepping in to talk to her. They were sitting together in a companionable yet tense silence for quite a while before Merlin voiced a question, "Gwen, why would Queen Jezebel do this? I know that the kingdom of Caerleon isn't a friend of Camelot's, but isn't this a little, I don't know, drastic?"

Sighing Gwen sat down "It was many years ago, before you first arrived in Camelot. Her son, Prince, Cane, threw down his gauntlet at Arthur's feet, challenging him to a duel to the death- desperate to prove himself. Of course Arthur was the better swordsman, and had no choice but to kill him. Caine was so young, so untested. Arthur has never forgiven himself for that, but there was no other way.

"So this is brought about by her desire for revenge." said Merlin slowly.

Gwen stood "Yes, but I never would have thought that she would resort to trickery like this. And why now, after so many years? It makes no sense."

A thought gave Merlin a cold feeling, "Perhaps it wasn't her who orchestrated the ambush; there could have been a third party."

"What worries me most is that whoever it was that organized the trap knew he would follow if they took you."

Although there was no blame or accusations in her voice Merlin realized that this was all his fault. There was something he could do to help however, but first he had to face something he had feared for so long: he would have to tell Gwen of his magic.

Heart racing, Merlin shuffled his feet nervously, "Gwen, I actually came here to tell you something. Something important, that I should have said long ago."

"What is it?"

"There's something that I can do, to help." He took a deep breath, trying to resist the numbing fear that was stealing over him, "Gwen, I have-"

Suddenly there was a voice from outside the tent, interrupting him, "Excuse me, my Lady? May I have a word?"

Startled they both looked towards the entrance. Gwen glanced curiously at Merlin before answering, "Of course, you may enter."

Stepping back, Merlin moved to one side of the chair that served as Gwen's throne, where a servant of his stature was expected to be. A man who looked only a little younger than Merlin pushed through the tent flap: It was Sir Kylar, a young knight who been knighted only four week previous.

"My Lady, I- no I apologize. It's not my place to say." He bowed and turned to leave, but Gwen stopped him.

"No Sir Kylar, its fine," reassured Gwen, "You may speak freely, what is it you would like to say?"

"It's just that… I mean," Kylar looked nervous and Merlin felt intrigued "Well, Queen Jezebel can order the execution of our King and his Knights at any moment, correct?"

"Yes." said Gwen shortly, the idea quite distressing.

"Well perhaps if you… if you invoked the right of single combat. Our armies are going to meet whatever we do, but if we do this then we can save thousands of lives and one of your terms can be that if Camelot's champion wins we get back our King and his Knights unharmed. That way she will not be able to execute them during the battle, especially if it looks like she is losing"

Gwen looked at him in surprise, "Thank you, for bringing this option to my attention."

"I only want to see our King and my fellow Knights returned safely." murmured Kylar.

"As do the rest of us." agreed Gwen quietly, her eyes unfocused as her thoughts took her down paths Merlin couldn't guess at.

Giving another bow Kylar left, looking relieved. He was rather nervous and uncertain for a Knight, thought Merlin. Although now he thought about it he had seen him fight at training, Kylar was a skilled warrior, so he supposed that made up for it.

Gwen's voice jolted him from his musings- "What was it you wanted to say?"

Merlin considered his options: reveal he had magic now, or wait until he saw the outcome of this new turn of events and then decide whether he needed to say anything or not. He preferred the latter, "I just- no it's nothing. I wanted to ask you a question, but I think I figured it out on my own."

She looked doubtful but thankfully did not press him. Instead she addressed their most pressing issue: what to do about Arthur. "So, this single combat, do you believe this would be the best course of action?"

He hesitated, wondering how much freedom of speech he had with Gwen when it came to matters of ruling the kingdom.

She smiled faintly as though she had guessed his thoughts, "I trust and value your opinion as much as Arthur does. You can speak freely to me, Merlin. I may be Queen now but we've been friends since I was still just a servant, being Queen doesn't change that."

A smiled spread arose his face, a question he had been asking himself for a while finally answered. Then he quickly went back to being serious, "As it is; without something to keep her from doing so; Jezebel could kill Arthur and the others at any moment." Gwen was silent and Merlin could tell what she was thinking, "They're still alive, I can feel it. If they had been killed then Queen Jezebel would have announced it. Gwen, I do believe that this is our best option."

Nodding, Gwen clasped her hands in front of her, "I agree, though I wanted to see what your thoughts on the matter were. I will send a messenger to Queen Jezebel with a request for a meeting."


	4. The Right of Single Combat

Merlin jogged towards the council tent where he knew the group going to the Caerleon camp would be congregating, and soon Gwen's voice was clearly audible through the thin wall of the tent, "Gwaine and Percival will escort me."

"Don't you think you will need more protection?" came another Knights voice, Merlin recognized it as belonging to Charles. He didn't like Charles.

"Taking any more will be seen as a threat, and I don't think Jezebel would sink so low as to have us killed when we enter her camp in peace, and with her permission." said Gwen, making him smile. She really was a worthy Queen; clever, with good judgement.

Pushing into the tent Merlin ignored the disapproving looks from some of the Knights, "My lady, please let me come as well."

Rather than looking surprised Gwen smiled, and he could tell she had been expecting him, "Very well, you may come too Merlin."

. . .

The journey through the Caerleon camp was quite stressful for them all, being surrounded by thousands of people who would obviously love to see them dead wasn't a very good feeling. Right before they entered the tent where the meeting was to take place and nobody was looking, Merlin caught hold of Gwen's hand for the briefest moment, giving it a reassuring squeeze. She smiled at him gratefully and squeezed back. It lasted only moments but both felt a little calmer from the brief exchange.

They entered to see Queen Jezebel sitting stiffly in an ornate chair and waiting for them, a little less than a dozen Caerleon Knights positioned around the tent. Merlin's blood boiled when he saw Arthur, Leon, and Elyan, tied and gagged, kneeling beside the throne and unable to stand due to their bonds. They had been stripped of their armor, and were instead wearing just plain trousers and shirts. Although they all looked a little worse for the wear they were defiant and it was clear they had not given up. Merlin was relieved when he could spot no serious injuries on them, but knew that that didn't mean very much. Both Emanuel and Moffat were missing, and Merlin could only assume the worst.

The strangest desire to laugh filled him when he saw the look in Arthur's eyes, although it was an urge born purely from a mixture of fear, anxiety, and a sudden feeling of hopelessness. He could tell that this little display was purely to unnerve and provoke them, and it was working like a charm. Percival and Gwaine both looked as though they were one provocation away from attacking, and only the fierce look that Arthur was giving them were preventing them from doing so.

Gwen wasn't faring much better: her eyes had widened slightly and he could tell she was very disturbed by the fact that Queen Jezebel would do something like this. She did her best to compose herself and managed it quite well. Merlin was sure he and Arthur were the only two in the room who could see what she was really feeling, simply because they had both known her for the longest and by now knew how to read her.

Arthur's gaze met his and Merlin saw a clear question in his eyes- 'are you okay?'

Fighting the urge to roll his eyes Merlin gave the slightest of nods and Arthur turned his attention back to the exchange. Merlin was uncomfortably aware that the only reason they were in this mess was because of him, because Arthur cared.

"Why have you sought out this meeting?" asked Queen Jezebel, completely ignoring the Camelot prisoner's existence.

Wasting no time Gwen got straight to the point, tearing her eyes away from Arthur, "I invoke the right of single combat. Two champions to settle this matter between them".

Merlin thought he might have seen a flash of triumph in Jezebel's face, but didn't understand why.

"And why should I grant you this favor?" asked Jezebel, sounding genuinely curious.

"There is no reason to spill unnecessary blood." said Gwen reasonably.

Leaning back Jezebel steepled her fingers in front of her, "And what would your terms be?"

Gwen's fingers clenched "If my man wins you return Arthur to us and we withdraw our army. I also ask that we would draw up a peace treaty between our two kingdoms."

"And if mine is the victor?"

"Then one fourth of all of Camelot is yours, and we withdraw our armies," there was the briefest of pauses before Gwen continued, "but we take Arthur and the Knights with us."

"I do not agree with these terms." said Jezebel promptly.

"What is it you would change?" asked Gwen coolly, but it was clear she knew what the answer would be.

"What would I change? Well, If my champion is victorious then you do not get Arthur back." she leaned forwards, smiling coldly. "If you lose, then both he and his Knights shall be executed one by one before your entire army. And even after that, you shall withdraw without retaliation."

There was a heavy silence as everybody digested this horrible statement, shocked that even Queen Jezebel could be so ruthless. Merlin saw the slight tensing in Guinevere's shoulders and the way she glanced at Arthur, "And there is nothing I can do to change your mind on this matter?" He was sure she hadn't really expected Jezebel to just give back Arthur and his Knights, but she couldn't not ask.

All traces of a smile; faked or not, vanished from Jezebel's face, "Unless you can bring back my son, then I am afraid there is not."

Merlin glanced at Arthur and saw his look of guilt and shame at her words. He recalled what Gwen had said about Queen Jezebel's son and realized that Arthur blamed himself for everything that was happening.

Pausing Gwen thought the terms over. Merlin could tell she was struggling to think a way to convince Queen Jezebel to change her mind, but finally accepted that it would be impossible. "Then we are agreed."

Jezebel rose from her seat, "You shall announce your champion by noon tomorrow. You should choose carefully, perhaps you can find someone who might last for more than a few minutes."

Gwen raised her eyebrows slightly, taken aback, "You sound confident, I take it you have your champion in mind?"

"Indeed I have."

Tensing, Merlin glanced at Arthur in worry. Something felt wrong about this; he recalled the flash of what could have been triumph he had seen in Queen Jezebel's eyes when Gwen first proposed her idea. His blood seemed to freeze in his veins as he realized what it might mean.

"May I inquire as to who it is?" asked Gwen, and by her tone Merlin could guess she was having the same thought as he was.

A hooded woman pushed into the tent and walked towards the two Queens. Stopping before them she drew back her hood and they all realized that this was exactly what Queen Jezebel wanted.

"That would be me." Morgana smiled coldly, her eyes full of hate. "It's been a long time, Gwen."


	5. Emrys

You can't," said Gaius, staring at Merlin.

"Because I've never risked my life for Arthur before?" He tried to say it like it was a joke, but it wasn't very funny.

"It's too dangerous! We can find another way." Gaius's eyebrows were drawn together in a look of concern.

Merlin shook his head slightly, "I must Gaius; I'm the only one who has the power to defeat Morgana. I'll use the aging potion again, fight as Emrys."

Whenever magic is involved in a duel the rules change, you must fight for six minutes without your magic! I may have faith in you and your powers, but you cannot deny that Morgana is more skilled then you in the art of fighting with weapons. You were able to defeat her down in the tombs, but you used magic as well as swordsmanship to do it!"

"Not if I use Excalibur, with it I can stand on even ground with her," Merlin reasoned calmly.

"You don't have Excalibur!" exclaimed Gaius despairingly.

"Yes I do, when he is not using it Arthur keeps it in a locked chest under his bed. As his manservant it was simple enough to get it before we left. I thought it would be best to have it, just in case."

"You are certainly placing a lot of faith in one blade". Gaius snapped, uncharacteristically sharp.

Merlin sighed, "You know better than I do the powers which a sword forged in a dragon's breath possesses."

It was true, but Gaius refused to give in, "How do you know Gwen will even allow Emrys to fight as Camelot's champion?"

"Gwen isn't prideful or foolish. If I handle the situation right, she will see it's the only way." answered Merlin confidently.

There was nothing that he could say to stop him, and finally Gaius seemed to accept that. He sighed, defeated, "Sometimes when I see you I still see the young boy who came bumbling into my room. The boy who needed me."

Smiling at him Merlin shook his head slightly as though he didn't know how Gaius could think such a thing, "I do need you, I don't know how I could get by without you." he said sincerely, meaning every word.

Gaius looked at him searchingly, "Perhaps. I like to think so."

Merlin set one hand on his shoulder pleadingly, understanding how conflicted the old man must be feeling. Gaius knew just as well as he did that if Merlin fought then he might die, but it was the only way to save Camelot. To Gaius, they were equal in importance. "Gaius, I can't do this without you. Please, trust me." said Merlin softly.

Eventually Gaius nodded, "Very well."

Standing alone before Guinevere, Gaius pondered the best way to propose Merlin's plan without it sounding too much like treason, which it was. "My lady, we both know that no normal warrior can defeat Morgana. We simply have no way to match her power."

Guinevere closed her eyes despairingly, "What other option do we have? We cannot withdraw our challenge."

Speaking slowly Gaius picked his words carefully, "I know of an extremely powerful warlock, who I believe would be willing to help. Morgana fears him, as he is predicted to be her doom."

Gwen looked at him, and it was clear this was the last thing she had expected to hear, "What are you saying?"

"Only magic can fight magic at this level. We both know how powerful Morgana has become." Gaius replied, establishing the facts she initially might not want to believe.

At first Gwen's expression was conflicted, but then it changed to resolved- this was no time to be indecisive, "Who is this warlock?"

"His name is Emrys. He has fought to protect Camelot before, I am sure he will willingly do so again." said Gaius confidently.

"And how would we get word to this Emrys."

"I'm sure he already knows of our predicament, he is very wise." Gaius thought quickly, not having thought through how to explain that Emrys would know to come to a meeting, "It's been said that if you raise a blue flag with a black dragon on it in a time of great need, he will appear within the half hour."

Gwen looked doubtful, "Very well, but if he does not appear within a half hour then we will have to think of another plan. I am not saying yes to your idea Gaius, but I am willing to meet the Warlock and consider it."

"Thank you your highness." said Gaius, relieved she hadn't pressed him about how he knew so much about this Warlock. He had done all he could, the rest was up to Merlin.

Merlin looked at the blue flag with the black dragon and smirked to himself; trust Gaius to come up with such a ridiculous idea at moment's notice. Taking a deep breath he pushed his way into the council tent.

"Dragoon!" exclaimed both Percival and Gwaine, drawing their swords simultaneously at the sight of him.

"Yes, It is I!" He proclaimed dramatically as he raised his staff into the air, turning to grin at them and ignoring Gaius's exasperated look ". Although I have many names, and you will now address me as Emrys!" with this declaration he lowered his staff and turned to approach Gwen, who stilled the Knights with a look and small shake of her head. "My Lady" he said with a respectful bow, feeling the eyes of Gwaine and Percival still boring into his back. Hostility and distrust radiated off of them in waves, making it very clear that they hadn't forgotten the events of their last encounter.

Gwen frowned slightly, glancing at Gaius, "I know you. You're the sorcerer who was caught placing the charm under my pillow." There was no accusation or anger in her voice, more like puzzlement. A perfectly logical reaction.

"Ah yes-" He raised one finger, "but if hadn't been caught, you would be dead right now. It was Morgana who framed you with the first, but I who saved you with a second."

Gwen considered this statement doubtfully, "You don't expect me to believe that was your intention- to save my life."

He did his best to smile cryptically "I had my own reasons for wanting you alive."

"I don't suppose you would tell me those reasons." said Gwen, and it was more a statement rather than a question.

"No, I don't suppose I will." He said bluntly, then added hurriedly "My Lady."

"Show the Queen more respect you doddery old man!" barked Gwaine, taking a threatening step forward and raising his sword.

Merlin turned, but before he could snap a retort Gaius cleared his throat pointedly and he fell silent. Gaius was right of course, now was a very delicate moment and antagonizing the Knights wouldn't help his cause. So instead Merlin decided to ignore Gwaine completely, pointedly turning away from him. "We both know that no normal warrior has the skill to defeat Morgana, her magic is too powerful." He paused "If you would allow, I offer myself to you to fight as your champion."

Pausing, Gwen studied the old sorcerer, "Why should I? I may not share Uther or Arthur's feelings on magic, but I still have no reason to trust you."

He was ready for this question, "I am the only one who can defeat Morgana."

Gwen clasped her hands in front of her, not questioning this statement "What is it you would wish in return?"

He was ready for this as well and the answer came easily, "Nothing more than to show everyone that not all magic is the same." He looked at her sadly "I know all of you have suffered because of magic, and for that I am truly sorry. But magic, it comes in many forms. It does not have to be violent and harmful- It can be gentle and used to heal and protect others. But just like people without magic, there are going to be those who use their power for good and those who let it corrupt them". His hand tightened around his staff, voice suddenly passionate "But because of the laws, people who would use magic for good are too afraid to do so!" Merlin suddenly felt bone tired, shoulders drooping slightly, "All we want… is to be free."

Silence followed his words and he felt slightly embarrassed. It reminded him forcefully of what he had said to Arthur when he had sought Dragoon's assistance in healing his father. He was glad now that neither the Knights nor Gwen knew about that particular encounter. "I know that you cannot change the law without Arthur, but after I defeat Morgana, remember it was magic that saved Camelot. And consider what I have said." Merlin finished and bowed his head slightly, waiting for her answer.

It was a long minute before anybody said anything. Finally Gwen nodded, "Very well. I know the truth of your words. I promise you that if you are victorious, I will speak with Arthur. You seem very confident, why is that?"

"I cannot afford to lose. Whether I die as well is of no consequence." Merlin saw Gaius tense out of the corner of his eye and felt a pang of guilt.

"You would be willing to die in this fight?" asked Gwen, obviously puzzled.

Merlin nodded solemnly, "I believe in the future Arthur Pendragon will bring, it is his fate to become the greatest King Camelot has ever known. And if I die while eliminating the greatest threat to his destiny, then so be it."

He could feel the surprise of everybody in the room. It was quite an unexpected statement, and it was obvious that it was genuine. The thought that a sorcerer would be willing to die to protect those who would have him executed was stunning.

A faint smile ghosted her lips, "You sound a little like Merlin, with your talk of destiny and fate."

Merlin straightened up, "Ah yes, Merlin. Good looking boy. I found him quite endearing the few times I met him, though he's never given enough credit for everything he does for all of you. Where is he?"

Gwen looked at the Knights questioningly, but they only shrugged.

Gaius spoke up, clasping his hands in front of him "He is out collecting herbs for me."

"Still?" said Percival doubtfully

"They are quite rare," assured Gaius, "I suspect they won't be easy to find." Merlin almost smiled- you would never know Gaius could be such a good liar. It was almost frightening sometimes.

A thought occurred to Percival and he narrowed his eyes suspiciously, "And anyway, how do you know Merlin and when would you have met?"

Realizing his mistake Merlin hurried to correct himself. Raising his eyebrows he did his best to sound casual, "Did I say met?" He shook his head, "Oh no, I only caught a glimpse of him once in Camelot. What I really meant is that I've seen him many times in my-" Merlin paused for just a moment, thinking wildly, "-magic crystal."

"Your magic crystal." Repeated Gwaine slowly, a little suspiciously.

"Yes, my magic crystal." said Merlin, smiling mysteriously, "In fact I find all of you quite entertaining, what funny little lives you all have."

"Why would you be watching us?" said Percival.

Merlin looked at Percival as though it should be obvious, and that he was an idiot for not knowing, "I'm an old man living on his own in the middle of a forest, I do get bored."

"Well if you are not a spy, even if you do find us entertaining, there are plenty of other people you could watch!" accused Gwaine, but rather half heartedly. It was much harder to doubt the old Sorcerer now, but Gwaine had always been stubborn and held a grudge for their last humiliating encounter in the forest.

Merlin banged his staff on the ground, looking outraged "I do not need to answer to the likes of you!"

Gaius and Gwen shared an exasperated look that was slightly tinged with amusement, feeling very much like the only adults in the room.

"You will not be gagged, but the same rules as last time: you will not speak, you will not make a sound. If you do, we will cut out your tongue. Do you understand?"

Arthur stared at Queen Jezebel with open hostility, making it clear how he felt about the entire humiliating situation. He looked side to side at Leon and Elyan, and it was clear they were feeling much the same way.

"Personally I hope it's Gwaine." said Morgana playfully, "I've always loved to watch him dance."

Arthur looked at her, searching for some hint of who she used to be. He found nothing of the loving girl he once cared so much for, and it broke his heart.

Leaning against the ornate chair serving as Jezebel's throne Morgana looked at the entrance, obviously anticipating their arrival.

At last a guard held open the tent flap and Percival walked in, followed by Gwen and then Gwaine. This was all well and good, but Arthur didn't understand it when the old Sorcerer Dragoon the Great followed them.

He heard a sharp gasp and turned his head to see Morgana had taken a step back, staring at the old man in alarm "Emrys!" She hissed and he could hear the hate and unmistakable hint of fear in her voice. So, they had history.

"Morgana. I wish I could say it's a pleasure to see you again, but frankly, it's not." replied Dragoon cooly.

Gwen stood tall in front of them, avoiding looking at Arthur, "This is Camelot's champion, Emrys."

It was this that broke Arthur from his state of shock and confusion, and forgetting the fact he had been commanded to stay silent. "What is this!" he burst before he could stop himself, staring from Gwen to Dragoon the Great, who was now apparently now known as Emrys. What he wouldn't give to be able to speak to Gwen in private at this very moment. What in the world was she thinking! No that was it, she wasn't thinking.

Biting her lip for a moment Gwen finally looked at Arthur "Arthur, there is no other way. If we are to have a chance of winning we must fight magic with magic."

"Enough!" snapped Jezebel turning to Arthur for the first time since the others have arrived "You were instructed to remain silent!"

A guard kicked Arthur hard in the chest and it was all he could do not to cry out. He gritted his teeth in pain and fury, feeling so helpless. He was in control of absolutely nothing in this situation, and he hated it. He was confused when Emrys's weight shifted for just a moment, as though he was about to rush to Arthur's aid but stopped himself. Arthur's eyes drifted to Emrys's hand, clutching his staff so tightly that his knuckles were white. The longer he was around this old man the less he understood him, and that also infuriated him.

"You think bringing Emrys will assure your victory?" hissed Morgana, bringing Arthur's attention back to the conversation.

Emrys and Morgana regarded each other and everybody in the tent could feel the crackling tension and hostility between them. It was obvious that they knew each other; and that no love was lost between them.

Morgana took a step towards Emrys, speaking directly to him "I do not care what any prophecy may say Emrys, I will not lose to you. You have thwarted my attempts to take over Camelot for too long. Tomorrow we will settle this, once and for all."

"You cannot win Morgana."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Because while you merely fight out of anger and spite; I fight to defend what I believe in."

Arthur frowned slightly, what was he playing at?

Walking up to Emrys Morgana leaned in till there was less than a foot between them, "You have no idea how much I am looking forwards to seeing your broken corpse laying at my feet. My only regret will be that you cannot watch me kill Arthur; slowly and painfully, his greatest protector gone. His blood as well as that of his loyal Knights will stain the ground at your feet, and there will be nothing you can do to stop it."

Gwen covered her mouth with one hand, closing her eyes. Arthur knew exactly how she felt: hearing those words coming from Morgana's mouth, spoken with such sincerity made him feel as though he wanted to be sick. What had happened to her, how could she feel so bitter? And what in the world did she mean when she said "his greatest protector no longer around to save him"?

Emrys remained unfazed by her tirade. Rather than sounding angry or contemptuous of her, he sounded sad: a stark contrast to Morgana's hate. "I'm sorry things have come to this. I blame myself for what you have become, but that does not mean I will hold back; you must be stopped."

Although it wasn't necessarily a violent statement Arthur noticed that for just a moment the fear returned to Morgana's face before vanishing again, "Emrys, the defender of Camelot: a traitor to his own kind." sneered Morgana.

"The one who has betrayed us is you, Morgana Pendragon."

"Enough." said Queen Jezebel sharply, though she looked rather amused by their exchange, "Save your arguments and threats for tomorrow while you fight to the death."


	6. Lionheart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Cause you're my king and I'm your lionheart.
> 
> \- Of Monsters and Men

Rather than changing into the red robe he had always worn before as Dragoon, Merlin had practiced a relatively simple spell to lay a glamour over himself and simply give the illusion that that was what he was wearing. In reality, he had on his every day brown jacket, blue shirt, red neckerchief, and black trousers which were much more comfortable and provided better ease of movement. It was an odd sensation; to feel something that he could not see, and see something that he could not feel.

Withdrawing a little bottle of the familiar light blue potion out of the small bag he carried, Gaius slowly approached Merlin, looking as though he was having some kind of internal struggle.

Reaching out his hand for the potion Gaius placed it in Merlin's palm, but he didn't relinquish the bottle. Sensing that Gaius had something to say Merlin waited for him to speak.

Looking at Merlin with baleful eyes, Gaius suddenly looked much older than he usually did. "Have you ever wondered if your destiny asks too much of you?"

Merlin shook his head slightly, "I don't let myself. And even if it wasn't my destiny, I would because he's my best friend. " It was the first time he had said those exact words aloud, and at that moment Merlin realized how true that was. If Arthur died it would be like losing a part of himself, he would forever be incomplete. Gently he took the potion from Gaius, "Thank you Gaius, for everything. You've shown me what it's like to have a father."

Eyes bright, Gaius reached for Merlin and hugged him tightly. In that silent embrace Merlin felt how precious he was to Gaius. If he died, he hoped that Gaius wouldn't blame himself.

Returning the hug; Merlin closed his eyes as he tried to memorize this moment. They stayed like that for a long time before Merlin gently pulled away, smiling "I will return" he said with more conviction than he felt.

Gaius smiled back, but Merlin could see it was just as forced as his own, "I know. When have you not?"

============

It was as though the weather couldn't decide if it wanted to be cloudy or sunny, and seemed to be compromising by alternating between the two. There was a slight breeze, although it too was acting rather fickle.

Arthur was marched with his Knights along the front lines, his wrists were tied in front of him but there was no other form of restraint. After all what could he do? There was no hope of escaping on their own. He was lead to the middle of Carleon's front line, and forced to his knees facing his own army. At the sight of their King Camelot's men shifted angrily, but Queen Jezebel nodded to a soldier who immediately seized a fistful of Arthur's hair and pressed a dagger threateningly to his throat, only withdrawing it when they had settled.

They were positioned with Jezebel's army facing Camelot's, about fifty yards dividing them. Caerleon's Knights, Queen Jezebel, and Morgana stood front and centre, and mirrored across from them were the remaining Knights of Camelot, Gwen, Gaius, and Emrys. Where in the world was Merlin? He hadn't been there when Emrys had been announced champion either. Had something happened to him?

He zeroed in on Emrys and turned all his attention back to his simmering anger: both at the fact he was being paraded before his men like an animal at some fairground show, and that magic was being used in the name of Camelot. And yet even he could see the sense in using magic to fight magic. He couldn't deny that no normal warrior could defeat Morgana; they just didn't have anything to match her power. But if it had been left to him, would he have been able to make the same decision?

What baffled him most about this situation was that any sorcerer was willing to take the chance of dying for him, and for Camelot. What was his motive? What was he getting out of this arrangement? Arthur hoped that he would live long enough to learn the reasons for Emrys's actions.

While he did not trust Queen Jezebel, he did think that she would keep her end of the bargain. He however had no confidence whatsoever in this Emrys's abilities- he looked simply like a doddery old man. Inside he knew that that wasn't true, but surely the physical strength and agility of the warrior would have a large part to play in this battle, particularly in the first seven minutes.

He remembered how frightened Morgana had looked for just a moment when Emrys first entered the tent, and felt a little reassured. There must be a good reason; he knew better than most how much it took to genuinely frighten Morgana.

He was proud of Guinevere; so far she'd handled the disastrous situation marvelously. Standing at the front of Camelot's army even at this distance she appeared not only calm and composed, but also fiercely determined and confident. The very picture of how a Queen should be in this situation. He only hoped she was right in trusting the sorcerer who could very well have killed his father.

=========

Merlin had to resist the urge to pace, and instead to stand calmly beside Gwen. There was a very large gap, perhaps about fifty yards, between the two armies and Merlin supposed that that was where he and Morgana would fight. Casting his eyes over the area where the battle was to take place Merlin noted with relief that while it was scattered with various size rocks, he wouldn't have to pay very much attention to where he was stepping.

His hand strayed to the hilt of excalibur, finding some comfort in the cool feel of the metal and leather.

Even from this distance Merlin could see that Arthur was smoldering with anger, for reasons that weren't very hard to guess at. He could only imagine how hurt his pride must be.

Merlin sensed the tension and anxiety coming off Gwen in waves, though he doubted that anybody else but Arthur had noticed. In fact she visibly appeared extremely composed, standing tall and confidently. It was hard to believe she was the same serving girl who had approached him as his second day in Camelot while he had been locked in the stocks. He wanted to reassure her, but in his current form he had to be cautious not to seem too familiar. After a moment's thought he settled for something simple and honest, "I will not fail you my Lady."

Gwen nodded to him, giving him a strained smile of gratitude, "I believe you, return Arthur and the Knights to us safely, please. I thank you Emrys, and wish you luck."

He gave her a small bow before proceeding to walk across the large stretch of open ground that separated the two armies. Morgana did the same and they met in the middle, staring at each other with open hostility.

The rules of a magical duel between champions were different, so they were to be announced by a rather scrawny squire who had followed at what he considered a safe distance from Morgana.

He cleared his throat nervously, "You will duel for seven minutes without any magic, if you do use magic before the seven minutes are up you will forfeit the match. If, after this time, the winner is apparent then they will have the choice of sparing their opponent, rather than fighting to the death. There is no surrendering, as when you agreed to be champions you took on the obligation of fighting to the best of your ability, whatever that may be." Merlin noticed that the squire looked extremely anxious; in fact he could be called terrified. He was standing rather close to two very powerful magical beings, all on his own and without any way to defend himself. "You will begin at the sound of the horn, which will then sound a second time to mark the end of seven minutes if the fight is still going." He finished and scurried away, obviously relieved to be emerging from the experience alive.

Crossing swords they stared intently at each other. Merlin knew he could not best Morgana when it came to fighting with a blade, but he also knew his magic was more powerful than hers. For some reason however, that didn't boost his confidence.

Everything rested on this- this fight would determine the future of Albion and never before had he felt the weight of his destiny as much as he did now. All he had to do was last seven minutes, then at the sound of the horn he could use his magic. He had been able to hold her off once before in the catacombs beneath the castle, he hoped he could do it again. He must to do it again. They took their positions and, as the horn sounded, began to slowly circle each other.

Morgana attacked without warning and he ducked beneath her first swing. She quickly reversed it and he blocked it with his sword just in time, grimacing as the impact jarred his arms. He struck back, only to miss as she darted away.

They began to circle once more, assessing each other warily. It was obvious she hadn't expected him to have any skill with a blade, and he was rather surprised himself. If he had been using any other sword, he knew he would never be able to fight like this. But there was something about Excalibur that heightened his senses and increased his reflexes, enough to let him hold his own against her. Instead of the awkward feeling he got holding any other sword, it felt comfortable in his hand, like an extension of his own arm: was this how Arthur felt whenever he wielded a sword?

He stepped forward and thrust but Morgana skipped aside, dancing in close and slashing for his chest. He knocked away her sword, and beginning to feel a little more confident he feinted high then twisted his sword and came up from beneath. She turned away from him, moving her sword to parry his before retaliating with a thrust of her own, which he just managed to dodge before stepping back, out of range. If he had truly been as old as he looked he never would be able to move so nimbly, but unfortunately he wasn't feeling twenty-two either.

Merlin felt rather stressed as their fight continued, exchanging blow after blow until his arms were sore from the effort of blocking her attacks. How much time had passed? Surely the horn would sound soon: then he would have the advantage. He felt something wet and warm on his shoulder and realized his stitches must have torn, reopening the wound from the bolt.

Eventually he misjudged a strike and her sword grazed his arm, ripping the clothes but luckily opening only a shallow cut. He brought his sword up hard, slamming his blade hilt-to-hilt with Morgana's. There was a ring of clashing metal, and the downward sweep of her sword was stopped.

Bearing down on their locked blades Morgana lunged back, then forward again; her left foot connecting solidly with his chest and he crashed to the ground, stunned. He saw a flash of steel and rolled aside just in time, her sword point striking and sticking into the ground where he had been only moments before.

Suddenly the horn sounded and Morgana opened her mouth, but Merlin was faster "Forþ fleoge!"

Morgana was blasted back, landing hard on the ground, but he hadn't put enough effort into the spell because she rather annoyingly sat up after only a few seconds. "Forbærne Ácwele!" a ball of fire coalesced in her palm, which she then hurled towards him. Rather than shielding he merely dodged to one side before realizing his mistake: the ball of fire was now hurtling straight towards Camelot's soldiers.

Cursing to himself, Merlin half turned, raising a hand and snagging the ball of fire with a tendril of his own magic, dispelling it only feet away from the panicking front line.

The momentary distraction cost him however, and he felt some kind of blunt force smash between his shoulder blades, knocking the breath from his lungs and sending him flying forwards onto his stomach. If he'd still had the body of a twenty two year old it wouldn't have taken him very long to recover, but as an old man he was much weaker.

Even as Merlin gasped for breath he pushed himself up on one elbow, slamming his other hand against the ground. "Ic þe bebiede þæt þu abifest nu." He shot his energy deep into the ground and the earth began to shake, a great fissure opened up beneath Morgana. Only by casting a shield beneath her own feet to help propel herself away was she able to prevent herself from being swallowed by the very earth itself.

Merlin got to his feet, noting grimly that she had got much better since the last time they fought.

"Fleoge!" she swept her arm towards him and her discarded sword rose off the ground, shooting itself straight at his face He raised one hand, "Culter, ic þe healte!" the sword stopped a foot away from him. With another flash of his eyes he spun it around and sent it right back at her with a thrust of his palm. Morgana ducked just in time and it went over her head, soon falling to the ground before it could strike a Saxon soldier.

Merlin could see the desperation in her eyes as they continued, and it soon became obvious to the general audience that Emrys was the more powerful of the two.

Merlin hurled a fireball which struck the ground in front of Morgana "Cume poden!" The burst of flame which had flared up when it hit the ground suddenly became a fire tornado, roaring towards Morgana.

Morgana threw up both arms, visibly panicked "Miere torr sweoloþhat!" The fire tornado was blown apart, but the explosion blasted Morgana away as well. It would have done the same to Merlin if he hadn't been able to throw a shield up just in time, having learned the hard way what happens when those two spells were used together.

She lay still on the ground, gasping. He approached her slowly "Ic babied fealle." he murmured and roots sprouted from the ground, winding around her arms and ankles, holding her down.

Morgana stared up at him, her mouth open but in her fear obviously unable to think of a spell.

"I'm sorry it came to this Morgana. "Ástrí-" Merlin stopped mid spell as a strong tingling feeling slowly spread throughout his body. He went rapidly from confused, to horrified understanding- which then quickly led to panic – the effects of the aging potion were ending.

In that moment Morgana took the opportunity to sever the roots holding her down "Onbind tha tease." The roots were severed and she rolled away, scrambling rather inelegantly to her feet and backing away.

The magical energy that had been coalescing in his palm disappeared as he staggered back. Looking at his hands he felt the effects of the aging potion fade away, and in his panic was unable to call to mind the spell he would need to continue the illusion as he had always simply used the aging potion. Soon he was standing there, his twenty two year old self once again.

It was a perfect moment of opportunity for Morgana, but rather than attacking, just like everybody else who could see she simply stared in astonishment, mouth slightly open in shock. Merlin was a sorcerer. Merlin had magic. Merlin was Emrys.

Forgetting the danger, impulsively Merlin turned, his eyes finding Arthur. He was close enough to see his expression clearly, and had never seen Arthur look so confused: it would have been almost comical had the situation not been so dire.

Since it didn't matter anymore he let the glamour disguising his clothes fall away and was left standing in his worn brown jacket, red neckerchief , blue shirt, dark brown pants, and his brown leather boots.

"Merlin, behind you!" Screamed Arthur in warning, his voice panicked.

While Merlin had been distracted Morgana had recovered from her initial shock, and even with Arthur's warning he had no chance to move before Morgana thrust the dagger she had kept tucked in her belt into his side at an upwards angle., the blade slipping neatly between his ribs and plunging straight through where Morgana knew his heart to be.


	7. Til the Day I Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I'm happy to be your servant, till the day I die."  
> -Merlin

"Merlin, behind you!" Screamed Arthur in warning.

While Merlin had been distracted Morgana had recovered from her initial shock, and even with Arthur's warning had no chance to move before Morgana thrust the dagger she had kept tucked in her belt into his side at an upwards angle; the blade slipping neatly between his ribs and plunging straight through where Morgana knew his heart to be. They stayed like that, two figures standing alone; but at the same time surrounded by thousands of people; as blood steadily soaked Merlin's shirt and jacket, turning them maroon.

Mouth half open in shock, Merlin felt the dagger slip back out as Morgana pushed him away from her and he stumbled, landing heavily on his hands and knees. The sudden surge of noise was rather disorientating and he blinked rapidly.

Nobody could understand it when Merlin got back to his feet. Unsteady, clasping his side, struggling to breathe and coughing, but back on his feet.

"How?!" Screamed Morgana flinging aside the bloody dagger, elation turning to fear and anger at the sight of Merlin standing defiantly before her after getting stabbed in the heart. Or at least, where his heart should be.

Merlin couldn't help but let out a wheezy laugh which quickly turned into painful hacking cough, blood dribbling from his lips. "I am the last Dragonlord, kin to the Dragons. Like them my heart is on my right side." Blood continued to seep out from under his fingers as he tried to stem the flow coming from the knife wound in his chest.

Despite his brave words it was more pain than Merlin could ever remember feeling and it was all he could do not to scream. Actually, he wasn't sure if he even had enough air in his lungs to scream properly. He could feel himself steadily running out of breath, finding it harder and harder to breathe. It made sense, he could feel that one of his lungs was not working and knew it had collapsed, the warmth of his own blood soaking his side. Whenever he attempted to breathe deeply a more severe pain would strike him, so he had to settle for unsatisfactory rapid, shallow breaths. The realization of how much trouble he was in struck him and panic threatened to overcome him, but he forced himself to stay calm and breathe. If he played it right, he could still win this fight. Hopefully. Maybe. Perhaps.

Well, if he was going to survive he had to concentrate on only Morgana and breathing, and the question of what he was going to do next; for if he lost then Arthur would die and Camelot would fall. From the lectures Gaius would make him listen to he was aware that a punctured lung was something somebody could live through if they got help before they bled out 'If I don't end this soon I'm going to die' he realized as his body struggled to adjust to one lung. Pressing his hand to his side he murmured a healing spell, desperate for even a little relief "Purhhaele pina, prowunga".

Nothing happened. Well, he already knew he wasn't very good at healing magic; after all he hadn't been able to save his father or Freya. This was just as bad as either of those. As he breathed he could feel his chest cavity filling with air through his still open wound and he shivered involuntarily 'Not good, this is not good'. Blood trickled from the corner of his mouth.

"Ic hale pina prowunga" he said more urgently. Was it just lack of both experience and skill? Both more likely than not. But something still felt wrong, he could sense something else, something almost repelling his magic from the wound.

"It's useless," called Morgana, still a little unsettled but also triumphant "you will not be able to heal that wound with your simple little charms. It takes real knowledge of the old religion to heal a wound from that blade; I've been imbibing it with dark magic every night for a month now, so it's no ordinary wound."

Merlin was dismayed at this news but determined all the same. It hurt too much to really be able to focus though, and he coughed up more blood. There was a painful pinching sensation in his chest every time he breathed in and he could feel his heart beating faster, spreading oxygen more rapidly, but also increasing the bleeding.

"Forbaern aeltaewlice!" Screamed Morgana, sending a jet of violet fire towards him.  
Merlin had always been best at defensive magic, so it didn't take much effort to mentally throw up a shield and deflect her attack. He felt dizzy so allowed himself to go down on one knee, swaying slightly. He made sure to pay enough attention to his magic to continue casting the shield, protecting him from both Morgana and her renewed flurry of spells. Although it was becoming harder and harder as time went on, and he wasn't sure how much longer he could keep it up.

It was obvious that she was growing irate as Merlin continued to deflect her spells despite his injury, "How can someone so powerful be content to live as a servant? You have the power to rule all of Camelot; the power to force Arthur to bow at your feet!"

It occurred to Merlin that Arthur could perhaps hear bits of what Morgana was saying since she was pretty much shouting, and the watching armies were almost completely silent. Which was rather odd considering how many people were there. Could he hear Merlin? No. But if he did… perhaps it would help him to understand, just a little. "Nim bod min þissere nihte bod dryhten." whispered Merlin, glancing at Arthur who flinched in surprise as the spell took hold. Now, Arthur would hear their conversation as though they were standing right beside him. He hoped Arthur would forgive him for using magic on him.

He gathered himself, taking a moment to simply breathe as best he could. It was painful, slow, but with many pauses he could speak "That's not, what I want. I don't want to rule, or make anybody, bow at my feet. And most of all, I don't betray, my friends." Merlin couldn't help but gasp as a sharper pain radiated from his sides. He had to find some way to close his wound and prevent the air entering his chest cavity, rather than his remaining lung. But his healing spells weren't working, so what then?

"No, you just poison them. " she spat bitterly, raw betrayal in her eyes.

Merlin flinched, temporarily distracted, "I didn't have, any choice!" Even he could hear the pleading in his own voice. He coughed wheezingly, more blood dripping from his lips.

"Of course , you would do anything for Arthur. Why are you so loyal to him? Friend or not, he'd kill you for having magic," she sounded maliciously pleased by the thought, "To be betrayed by your best friend after you betrayed your own kind, ironic. I'll save you the pain and just kill you here and now, after all, we were friends once."

Merlin resisted the urge to glance at Arthur, "…so be it. And though I die, I will take you with me." By now he was talking for Arthur's sake, not Morgana's.

"She sneered, "Oh really? Just look at yourself, You're already half dead! How much longer do you think you can keep this up?"

Another spell was cast, and like the others before it, it was deflected. "Purhhaele dolgbenn" nothing.

"I told you it's no use, Fight back! You should focus on fighting me, not healing yourself."

He didn't have enough energy for a spell strong enough to actually kill Morgana, so what now? The biggest problem was he couldn't think straight "Licsar ge stadol nu!" Nothing.

He shot a fireball at her and she barely managed to deflect it, due simply to the fact she hadn't really expected him to attack.

Then he remembered the boy Gilli, who had used a blast of heat to seal the slash his shoulder. If plain Magic couldn't heal him, maybe a mixture of magic and science could. From Gaius's explanations he knew it was a spell meant for more minor injuries, but he hoped it would be enough to buy him some time. All he needed was to close his wound, then breathing would come a little easier. Perhaps then his head would clear and he would be able to concentrate on coming up with a plan. He braced himself, slipping his hand up under his shirt to rest on his bare skin which was slick with blood "Purhhaele licsar min!"

The pain struck him like a physical blow as a flash of light temporarily blinded him, bringing with it a wave of scorching heat. He withdrew his hand, struggling not to be sick at the smell of charred skin. He almost fainted, and his shield faltered. The next thing he knew he was hurtling through the air, skidding across the ground and rolling to a stop on his stomach.

He landed hard and was dazed for a few moments. His bodies' first instinct was to gasp for breath, but when he did it only caused him more pain. So instead, he forced himself to relax. But this was good, the new sharper pain from his landing and the burn had roused him from the half awake state, and his mind was clear and racing. In a moment of both inspiration and desperation he feigned unconsciousness, blocking out the various noises of both joy and distress and severing the spell he had cast between him and Arthur. He'd need all his limited concentration if his crazy plan was going to work.

A foot dug painfully into Merlin's side, rolling him over onto his back. He stayed limp and cracked his eyes open just a bit, and though Morgana was just a faint outline against the sky he could see her well enough. 

She was positioning the point of her sword straight over the right side of his chest and his heart, “This time, I will not miss,” raising it high she stabbed down.

At the last moment Merlin's eyes snapped open, his hand coming up as his irises flashed the molten gold that accompanied magic. Her blade was deflected, glancing off an invisible shield and slipping to one side, burying itself in the ground.

Excalibur flew to his hand, flashing in the sunlight and he awkwardly twisted onto his knees, desperately, inelegantly, and completely gracelessly, stabbing Morgana through the stomach.

He knew the sound it made as it went through her would haunt him for the rest of his undoubtedly very short life.

Her eyes were ice in shock as slowly Merlin drew the blade back out and dropped it on the ground, catching her as she began to fall and sinking with her to the ground. Almost tenderly he held her in his arms just as he had when he poisoned her, 'Our rivalry ends as it began' he thought to himself, gazing down at her. He did not mourn the death of Morgana Pendragon, because to her former friends she had died long ago. So instead that's what he wished for; the days when nothing hurt. Times before hate had consumed all of Morgana's kindness and love, turning her into a shell of what she had once been. As he did, single tear slowly slid down his cheek.

Morgana turned her head slightly to look up at him and shook her head slightly in confusion "Even after everything, how can you still cry for me?" she whispered in disbelief, suddenly sounding so… human.

"Once you were my friend." Merlin answered simply.

He expected her to sneer, but instead Morgana sounded almost regretful, "And you mine. But times changed." And with those words her last breath escaped her and her body went limp in his arms, the light fading from her eyes. 

Gently he laid her down and brushed a lock of hair away from her face, closing her eyes. If it wasn't for the ugly wound it would look as if she was merely asleep, her long silky hair spread around her head like a dark halo. For the first time in a long time her face was not full of bitterness, but peaceful.

Despite the danger he was still in, Merlin felt a sense of relief wash over him. Closing his eyes he focused on the soft breeze played across his face. He had done it. He had eliminated the greatest threat to the future of Albion, Arthur and the Knights would be released, and now there would be a peace treaty signed between Camelot and Caerleon.

Somehow Merlin slowly got back on his feet and managed to stagger a few steps away from Morgana's body before the last of his strength left him and he collapsed to the ground, something that had been happening a lot in the past hour. The rush of adrenalin was gone and he could now feel the full and considerable pain of his injuries. Closing his eyes Merlin's hand drifted to cover his side. He may have closed the wound and prevented death by suffocation, but he was well aware he was beyond any physician's help. He had lost far too much blood, and there was still undoubtedly internal bleeding. It was a miracle he had survived as long as he had, but he suspected his magic might have had something to do with that. “Maybe it's better this way, better to die. That way Arthur won't have to choose between his beliefs and me.” he mused, thoughts hazy with the pain. After closing his wound he could breathe easier, so there was something to be grateful for. 

He stared up at the sky, one hand stroking the grass by him as he wondered how long it would take for death to come.

Something did still worry him though, had he completed all he'd been meant to do? Wasn't he supposed to assist Arthur in building a new Albion and fulfilling his destiny as the Once and Future King? But then again, the dragon had never said he would have to survive in order for Arthur's destiny to be fulfilled. Perhaps he had played his part in Arthur's story, and his chapter was coming to a close. He felt a pang of guilt that he wasn't able to keep his promise to Gaius, he hoped he would understand. Once more he closed his eyes, listening to his heart beat which was much faster than usual.

Merlin became aware of Arthur's voice, faint as though from a great distance. Suddenly he felt hands shaking his shoulders in a gentle then in a more commanding way when he did not respond, "Merlin, Merlin!"

He opened his eyes and his vision slowly focused on Arthur on his knees beside him, Percival, Gwaine, Leon, and Elyan hovering around them. He managed a faint smile, and although it was harder and more painful than before, he could still speak. But the pain didn't matter, he couldn't bear to lose what little time he had left with them in silence. "Hey, what'd you know. I'm not as useless, as you always thought," weakly his eyes misted over with gold and the bonds restraining Arthur and the Knights broke.

Arthur's newly freed hand gently cradled the back of his head, "I've never really thought you were useless you Idiot."

Merlin frowned doubtfully, "…Really?"

Arthur nodded his head, "Yes, believe it or not you're actually a pretty decent servant. A great one in fact."

Eyes stinging with tears Merlin opened his mouth to respond, but all that came out was another round of coughing, fresh blood dribbling from the sides of his mouth. It took him a moment but he recovered enough to talk, "You're not mad?"

"Oh yes I am. Which is why you can't go and die on me." Arthur smiled weakly "I mean it. You don't get to die because I haven't had the chance to yell at you yet. And trust me, I have a lot to say to you about all this, and you have a lot of explaining. Don't think you can get out of it."

"Oh well, there's some incentive" agreed Merlin sarcastically.

Without a word the Knights and newly arrived Gwen circled them both, giving them some privacy from the prying eyes of those who did not understand the fact that the King and his servant shared a bond that was stronger than that of brothers. From those who would think he was weak for caring so much. It was as if this was a moment between just the two of them, and they would be intruding on something private if they said anything.

Gaius who was older and slower than the knights arrived and pushed through them, dropping to his knees on Merlin's other side. He began to open his medicine bag but Merlin put one hand on his, shaking his head wordlessly. He looked at Arthur and smiled apologetically, his voice fading slowly, "I'm sorry. I think you'll have, to train, another idiot, to run around for you. . . "

Suddenly Merlin felt a sharp sting on the side of his face and his eyes flew open, though he didn't remember closing them. Arthur had slapped him! Even on his death bed Arthur was still abusing him! His initial surge of indigence faded quickly however, it figured that Arthur wouldn't let him die without a fight. But if he did die- things would be so much simpler. He was tempted to ask if they could ever forgive him, but he wasn't sure he could handle what the answer might be. It was better not knowing. This here was enough.

And suddenly Merlin knew that now Morgana was gone, even without him Arthur would succeed. He knew he shouldn't, but Merlin couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness as he realized he wasn't needed anymore. It was safe for him to die.

His body tensed and he gasped as another sharp stab of pain in his side struck him, and to his surprise Arthur moved to cradle him in his arms, holding him gently. It felt oddly comforting and he looked intently at Arthur, searching his eyes. He thought of everything that had transpired in the last hour, "I didn't mean, for things to happen, like this."

"Stop it Merlin, stop talking like that!" said Arthur sharply, eyes bright.

"I don't, regret dying though. I would do it, for any of you, a hundred times over." continued Merlin, ignoring him.

Arthur shook his head adamantly, as though simply denying the fact Merlin was dying would make it untrue. "I can't lose you Merlin, you can't just go and die on me! You're not really an idiot, you know. You're the bravest man I have ever known. You are a hero Merlin, braver than any knight." Merlin whimpered in pain involuntarily and Arthur held him a little closer, but not too tight.

"I don't mind, dying here." said Merlin truthfully, as though that should be some comfort.

"No!" Arthur answered forcefully.

Merlin began to lose awareness, his thoughts drifting into a haze when something wet landed on his cheek, bringing him back. Because it was so unbelievable it took him a moment to register what had happened: a single tear had fallen from Arthur's eyes, and even as he watched it was quickly followed by another.

A rush of affection for Arthur washed over him, and with great difficulty he slowly reached up to rest his hand on the back of Arthur's head. Staring deeply into his eyes, Merlin tried to convey everything he either didn't have time to say or just couldn't find other ways to express into one look and just two words, "Thank you."

And surrounded by almost everyone he cared for most in the world, Merlin felt a sense of peace and warmth spread through him. Despite everything he managed a sincere smile, because as unbelievable as it sounded he was happy. He drank in the now blurry sight of the Knights, Gaius, Gwen, and Arthur as his vision slowly spotted into black, hand falling limply to the ground. His final breath escaped from him as a peaceful sigh and the rapid, labored rise and fall of his chest stilled, the ghost of his last smile still etched upon his face.

 

==========

 

Arthur forgot both that the Knights, Gwen and Gaius were there, and that he wasn't supposed to show this kind of emotion for someone so below him in rank.

"Merlin, wake up!" when there was no response from the young man in his arms he leaned forward, touching his forehead to his friends, whispering words that were meant for Merlin alone, "Don't… please don't leave me. I need you." But there was no reaction. 

He moved one hand to Merlin's throat, desperately feeling for a pulse he knew in his heart would not be there, but found nothing. Merlin, the secret sorcerer, was dead.

Laying him back down Arthur felt gentle but insist hands pulling him away, making more room for Gaius. Arthur didn't put up a fight; too numb to do anything but stare at the empty, pale shell that was all that was left of his best friend.

'Dead.' The word reverberated through his head, but his heart was unable to really associate it with Merlin 'Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead.'

Then an even more horrible thought- 'dead because of me.' The sapphire blue eyes that had once been so full of life were now dull. It was as though shutters had closed behind them, leaving them empty. His skin was much too pale, his lips bearing a slightly blue tinge. Vaguely Arthur became aware that the still wet blood that had covered Merlin's clothes was staining his own hands and clothes as well, but he didn't care.

He bowed his head as Gaius knelt beside the boy that had been more than a son to him, pressing two fingers to his neck as though refusing to believe Merlin was really gone. At last Gaius slowly withdrew his shaking hand, looking lost and utterly devastated. Tenderly he ran his fingertips across Merlin's forehead, brushing aside his hair before passing his hand down Merlin's face to close his eyes. There was nothing left of the composed physician in his mannerisms, but instead he was simply a grieving father looking at his son, crying and stroking his hair. Arthur wondered if his father would have looked at him like that in this situation, or would he be disgusted that one of his family members had magic? Probably the latter. It made sense now, why Gaius had been on the front lines.

Tears still blurred his eyes and before he could stop them several more fell as he stared at Merlin's lifeless body, blood stained and dirty but still so painfully familiar. But he couldn't let himself surrender to it. He took a moment to breathe, letting a small choked sound escape before straightening up, struggling to compose himself and face the world outside the circle of friends. To face the people who would not understand the tears he was hiding.

. . .

Arthur found himself alone in the medical tent, Gaius standing outside the door flap to prevent anyone from disturbing him. Merlin's body laying on a table at its centre; with the sword Excalibur laid out beside him. Like Gwen had done for Arthur, Gaius had cleaned the blood from Merlin's face and body and changed him into a spare grey shirt and black trousers that were just a little too big for him. If he hadn't been so pale and Arthur didn't know better, he could almost fool himself into thinking Merlin was simply sleeping.

Despite everything she had done, upon Gwen's request Arthur had ordered a grave be dug and even marked for Morgana. That had caused much disruption and murmuring, all of which Arthur simply ignored. There was more understanding for the fact that Arthur intended to take Merlin's body to the lake Avalon and give him the same Funeral he would for any Knight, but even after all Merlin had done there were still those few who opposed it.

The worst part about it all, was that he didn't know how to feel. And now he would never get an explanation. It wasn't so much the magic that upset him, It was that he had trusted Merlin completely, only to find that Merlin had been lying to him longer than they had been friends. He didn't know how much had been a lie. His mind would never be put to rest. And still… still it hurt. It hurt both that he had been lied to, and it hurt even more that Merlin was gone forever.

Merlin's solemn voice seemed to drift to him through the years,

"I will protect you or die at your side."

'No man is worth your tears.' he reminded himself, toying with the red neckerchief that had previously been around Merlin's neck. But that statement no longer seemed to be true in any context , and he did cry, this time without any need to hide it. He shed tears for a servant, a sorcerer, and a best friend.

. . .

In their tent Leon, Elyan, Percival, and Gwaine lay awake, eyes dull with grief for their fallen friend and comrade. They felt much like Arthur did, though none to the same degree. Not a word was said, and the few silent tears that did fall were hidden in the shadows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me! I promise it ends happy!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”  
> -Anais Nin

Arthur gently laid Merlin on the ground beside Lake Avalon, the mountains rising high in the distance and the forest around them so full of life. Nobody had argued, although he knew some people would disapprove of giving a sorcerer a funeral. He really didn't care what they thought; he was the King and not them.

It wasn't a large ceremony; Arthur, Guinevere, Gaius, Gwaine, Percival, Elyan, and Leon were the only ones attending. But he thought that's what Merlin would have preferred.

Gwaine, Gaius, and Leon were preparing the boat in which they would lay Merlin's body and send it out into the lake. The rest of them stood in silence, each lost in their own thoughts.

Arthur's thoughts were so confused - Merlin had lied to him, let him to believe he was someone he wasn't. Had he ever really been his friend? But then he had died, fighting for both Camelot and for Arthur; if he hadn't cared about any of them he never would have done it.

Now that he thought about it, Merlin had looked terrified when he glanced over at Arthur. Arthur remembered his own bewilderment, shock, hurt, and then smoldering anger he had felt in the time between Merlin's disguise falling away to the time it took for Morgana to recover. Then the horror as he noticed she was creeping up behind Merlin, a knife in her hand. After that it had all become fear, causing him to scream a warning without consciously thinking about it. But it had come too late, and Morgana had stabbed Merlin in the heart. Or at least, she appeared to. Gaius had explained that Merlin was also the last Dragonlord, so his heart was on his right side. Just another thing Merlin had forgotten to mention.

Now Arthur wasn't sure how he felt about it, his feelings were all jumbled up inside him and he hated it. There would never be a chance for them to discuss it, so there would never be an opportunity to resolve anything.

Would he have arrested Merlin? He wanted to say no, but in reality he didn't know for sure. The fact remained that Merlin had lied to him, and that hurt. It left him with doubts about his friend and servant, doubts he did not want to have. If he had been faced with the truth he couldn't simply have ignored it, he would have had to choose. Choose between his love for Merlin, and his hatred for magic. He would have had three choices: save Merlin, let him die, or banish him. Saving him would have meant that Arthur would be forced to rethink all his beliefs. But letting Merlin die… that was unacceptable.

 

("You're a riddle Merlin."  
"A riddle?"  
"Yes. but I've grown to quite like you.")

 

Arthur had never really considered the thought of what would happen if Merlin were killed; mostly because the idea was so preposterous that it had never occurred to him. Sure Merlin had come close a few times, but he always made it out of trouble. Despite Merlin's sassy comments, irritating optimism, constant babbling, and often frank disrespect, he and Merlin were friends. He had assumed Merlin would always be at his side, a constant presence he could turn to. The truth was; Arthur couldn't imagine his life without Merlin.

Gazing down at Merlin, Arthur thought that he should be struggling to hold back tears. He didn't like crying in front of people; somehow it made him feel weak. He had already done it once and he had a right to that, didn't he? But now no tears came.

"From the first moment we met he was one of my best friends." Said Gwaine quietly, breaking the oppressive silence that had fallen over them, his words prompting them to recall their first encounters with the cheeky manservant.

"He was always like a son to me," Gaius whispered in an unsteady voice, "I never expected such a blessing so late in life."

"Always brave, sometimes to the point of foolishness." said Leon, bringing a small involuntary smile to everybody's faces.

"I used to think we just had really good luck on some of our adventures, but now I know it was because we had a protector. It also explains how he always came out of our adventures relatively in one piece." Percival said solemnly.

"He was a sorcerer, but there was nothing evil about him." Said Elyan quietly.

Gwen took Arthur's hand "He was always so willing to make sacrifices for others."

This comment struck all of them hard: because that's exactly what he had done up until the very end. He had known that he could easily die in the fight, but he had chosen to fight anyway. In the end he had made the ultimate sacrifice for them all, and had even died with a smile on his face.

Arthur gazed at Merlin, feeling like he too should say something. But what was he supposed to say? That Merlin was more than a servant? How Merlin had become his best friend? About how when they first met Arthur thought he was a complete idiot, but had soon learned better? That Merlin had been just like a brother? 

 

( I'd never have a friend who could be such an ass."  
"Or I one who could be so stupid.")

 

"He-" began Arthur, but his voice cracked.

 

("You were coming back to look for me."  
"Alright it's true. I came back because you're the only friend I have and I couldn't bear to lose you.")

 

Arthur cleared his throat and began again "He was a good man, and he died a hero."  
To many people it would seem very odd, even inappropriate, for any kind of noble to show this much affection and emotion for a simple servant. But Merlin hadn't been just an ordinary servant, he'd been King Arthur's best friend and almost everyone in Camelot had known of the strange and amusing bond they shared. It was a very well known fact that nobody else had been allowed to speak to Arthur the way Merlin had done. But that had been because they were not Merlin; only Merlin was Merlin; so only he was permitted to do so. Because he was Merlin.

"Sire!" gasped Gwaine suddenly, hand going to his sword.

Looking up Arthur saw a girl, slowly and silently walking out of the lake. For some reason however, she was perfectly dry when she reached them.

Nobody knew how to react, so they just stood there and watched. She was slender with long dark hair and beautiful large brown doe eyes, dressed in a gown fit for a princess. But most distinctive was that there was something unearthly about the girl. Arthur's hand began to stray towards the hilt of his sword uncertainly and she looked at him, smiling gently.

"I mean you no harm. My name is Freya, and I have come to fulfil a promise that I made long ago."

Out of the corner of his eye Arthur saw Gaius shift slightly, a look of understanding on his face "He recognizes the name."  
She knelt beside Merlin's body, and the look of longing and regret in her eyes tugged at Arthur's heart. The way she cupped Merlin's cheek, caressing his pale face with long graceful fingers that spoke of nothing but love.

Arthur did not understand this, because as far as he knew Merlin had never had any kind of romantic relationship with any girl. Alright, Merlin was good looking enough, but he was awkward and clumsy! For a while Arthur had suspected him of pining after Morgana, but that had simply been a crush- this was different.

She bent down to touch her forehead to Merlin's, and there was a electric tension in the air as everybody waited, sensing that something important was about to happen.

Her lips moved, whispering words that seemed to be just for Merlin, and Arthur thought it was most likely some sort of magic. Tenderly she pressed her lips to Merlin's in a long, lingering kiss.

 

===========

 

Merlin hoped that even though he was dead Arthur would continue on to fulfill his destiny. He had definitely been making good progress, but he was still a clotpole. Well, then again, Merlin supposed some things could never change and that in fairness everyone had their faults. But then it occurred to him that if he was actually dead, why was he still somehow aware? He had a sense that he had been somewhere nice, somewhere peaceful with people he cared about who had moved on, but the more he tried to recall the details the hazier it became. 

Slowly he became aware of a soft voice whispering to him, and straining to hear what it was saying he felt a jolt as he realized it was Freya's voice. Even after all this time his feelings had not changed.

There was a warmth on his lips that slowly spread through his entire body, and it was as if he was being pulled back from far under water, gradually becoming more and more aware of himself. He was laying on a hard surface, rocks somewhere. There were sounds of people around him, the air fresh, a bird singing in the distance. Was he by a lake? That would certainly explain the gentle sound of lapping of water he could hear. 

Breathing in deeply, Merlin enjoyed the fresh smell of the forest, fingers curling slightly. He became aware of the sounds of movement around him; laughter and voices saying his name in all different tones, voices he recognized and cared about. Opening his eyes, Merlin blinked at the bright light that blinded him, as though he had been in the dark for a very long time. Very slowly, Merlin focused in on the people now gathering around him, feeling rather confused and overwhelmed by all the noise. "What's… going on?" he mumbled, dazed. 

"You're back!" said a voice he was all too familiar with.

And there he was, on one knee beside him: Arthur. He couldn't help the smile that spread across his face at the sight "Hi." Arthur looked deeply conflicted and he waited for him to speak, looking at the Knights over his shoulder. Was it just his imagination, or did some of their eyes seem a little too bright? Suddenly he remembered the voice that had come to him through the darkness and pulled him back "Freya!"

 

==========

 

Staring, Arthur tried to grasp that Merlin had just been brought back to life by a strange girl. Everybody was talking at once and Arthur could tell the surge of noise was confusing the newly resurrected Merlin, who was blinking rapidly. 

"What's… going on?" mumbled Merlin, blinking. 

It was this that familiar voice the snapped Arthur out of his shock, "You're back!" he exclaimed. If Merlin hadn’t been laying down Arthur would have hugged him, right there in front of everybody. 

Arthur was rewarded with a weak smile “Hi” 

There were so many things Arthur wanted to say he didn’t know where to start, but before he could sort out his thoughts Merlin’s eyes widened, "Freya!" Merlin exclaimed without warning, sitting up abruptly and looking around, obviously searching for the strange girl. Arthur hadn't noticed her leave, being too focused on Merlin. But now he too looked towards the lake and there she was, standing at its edge and gazing at Merlin with her soft brown eyes, a sad smile playing across her lips.

Puzzled, Arthur looked to Merlin who was slowly and slightly unsteadily getting to his feet, eyes never leaving the girl "Freya?" Merlin's voice was so full of anguish and longing that Arthur stared at him in shock. When had Merlin ever had any kind of relationship that wasn't friendship with a girl?

"Hello Merlin," she said softly, "I told you I would see you again. I promised that one day I would repay you."

Merlin stood rather unsteadily and Arthur reached out to steady him, but Merlin hardly seemed to notice and moved between Arthur and Gaius as though half asleep "But how, you're still… aren't you?"

"Yes Merlin," she said, glancing back towards the lake "and I haven't much time left here."

The tension in Merlin's shoulders was obvious but Arthur was unable to see his expression. Suddenly they rushed together, embracing tightly. Merlin was laughing and crying at the same time "It's really you" he touched his forehead to hers and they gazed into each other's eyes. It was like they were the only ones beside the lake, as though he had completely forgotten there were people watching them. Suddenly Merlin's legs gave out from under him but Freya caught him, lowering them both to the ground.

"Your body is still recovering, I healed all your wounds but you must take it slowly" she said gently.

Nodding, Merlin looking slightly embarrassed.

Arthur felt as though he was spying in on a private moment. This was a side to Merlin he had never seen before, one he hadn't known existed. Just another thing about Merlin that he hadn't known; that was a stranger to him.

Reaching out to her Merlin pushed a strand of dark hair away from her face, "I'm so sorry… I couldn't protect you." he sounded helpless "If only I'd had more power I could have healed you."

“More power?” thought Arthur incredulously, recalling the extraordinary magic Merlin had demonstrated.

Freya shook her head, taking his face between her hands "Don't be Merlin. It would have been wrong for me to take you away from Camelot, your place is by Arthur's side."

"I'm afraid those times may be past." murmured Merlin miserably.

It was when Merlin said this that Arthur realized he really had forgotten that they were there. What must it be like, to be so absorbed in somebody that the world seemed to disappear around you? This is what he and Gwen had together. He caught sight of the tattoo on Freya's wrist she's a druid! But that would explain how she had been able to use magic to bring back Merlin. That fact was almost frightening, power like that could be used for great evil. And yet it hadn’t been, magic had once again been used for good, and Arthur didn’t know how to feel about that. 

Freya moved to embrace Merlin tightly for a few moments before pulling back again "I'm glad for this chance to see you, but this is goodbye for now"

"You… you're going to leave again." said Merlin listlessly.

Freya ran her fingers across Merlin's cheek "I must Merlin, we are no longer of the same world. You understand this, don't you?"

He caught ahold of her hand, pressing it against his cheek "Will I ever see you again?"  
"When they die, all worthy and noble souls come to Avalon. Until your time truly comes Merlin, I shall wait for you."

He slid his hands down her arms, pulling her to him in another embrace "I love you."  
"And I you." As they all watched she began to fade, pulling away just enough to kiss Merlin gently. He bent his head closer to her, one of his hands cradling the small of her back while the other sought out her hand.

Arthur felt as though he should look away, as though he had no right to be watching their last moments together.

After a few lingering moments Merlin and Freya broke apart and they watched as Freya began to fade. Merlin's eyes widened in panic "I don't want you to go."

"I'll never truly be gone Merlin. That place between awake and asleep, that's where I'll always be waiting. That 's where I'll always love you." With those last words she faded completely and Merlin's arms were suddenly empty, closing on nothing but air.


	9. Truth and Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "A single lie discovered is enough to create contagious doubt over every other truth expressed."  
> \- Unknown

The next time Merlin opened his eyes he was laying on Gaius's own cot, in the familiar Physician’s quarters. He could hear the ruffling of pages over in the direction of the table, the clinking of glass as Gaius worked on some kind of potion. The bright light hurt his eyes and he half closed them, waiting for them to adjust. When they did he sat up slowly, swinging his feet out from under the covers, blinking away the sudden dizziness that came with the motion. But before he could stand up Gaius rushed over to him; sitting on the side of his bed and pulling him into a tight hug, "I thought I'd lost you."  
Feeling a little overwhelmed Merlin hugged him back.

Leon, who Merlin hadn't noticed until he spoke, was sitting on a stool, "Welcome back." he smiled, looking tired.

When at last Gaius released him Merlin rubbed his head, "What happened?"

Gaius and Leon glanced at each other, "Well," began Gaius "When Freya disappeared you fainted.

Wanting to avoid talking about Freya Merlin quickly asked a question, "How long was I out for?"

"Three days," sighed Leon, looking tired.

Eyes widening slightly Merlin looked to Gaius for affirmation, "Three days?”

Calm down Merlin, you were dead for almost three days. In fact, I'm surprised you're already awake." said Gaius firmly.

"Arthur will want to know you've woken up." Leon sighed again, "It's good to see you're doing okay." He nodded first at Merlin and then at Gaius before leaving the room, presumably to go find Arthur.

There was a long pause as Gaius simply looked at Merlin, "I've never been more proud of anybody as I am of you." And it was true: this person before him, this amazing young man who refused to give up, who despite his pain had fought on to protect everything he held most dear. He was the one thing Gaius didn't think he could live without. "Just promise me, you'll never put me through something like that ever again."

Gaius's words gave Merlin a warm feeling and he smiled, "Don't worry, I don't plan to."

"Yes well, we both know how often you plan on staying out of trouble but then dive into it anyway." said Gaius rather dryly and they laughed.

Finally Gaius breached the subject they both knew had to be discussed: Arthur. "I tried to talk to him once, explain some things." said Gaius cautiously.

"How did he take it?" asked Merlin in some trepidation.

"He wouldn't listen. I think he wants to hear it from you."

Merlin covered his face with his hands, "How can I face him Gaius? What can I possibly say?"

"Tell him the truth." said Gaius simply, "That's the best course of action now."

There was a knock on the door and Arthur walked in, dressed in his usual chain mail and looking rather grave.

Giving Merlin's shoulder a reassuring squeeze Gaius stood, bowing, and exiting the room, leaving the two of them alone.

"Sire." said Merlin quietly, unable to meet Arthur's eyes.

He made to stand up but Arthur raised one hand, "No stay, its fine. How are you feeling?" Arthur pulled the stool Leon had until recently occupied over to the bed and sat on it.

"Tired, and a little bit sore." answered Merlin rather cautiously. He really didn't know what to expect, and this is exactly what he had thought to avoid by dying.

"Understandable, considering everything you've been through." replied Arthur. There was a long pause, "Merlin… you died for me."

"If i'm completely honest, I had a feeling that I wouldn't survive the fight. All I wanted was to win, one way or another." answered Merlin quietly

"But you still fought."

"Without hesitation."

There was a long moment where they simply stared at each other, heavy looks full of doubt, hopes, and unanswered questions.

"You have magic." Said Arthur bluntly, now getting straight to the point.

Forcing himself to meet Arthur's gaze, Merlin’s hands tightened around the edge of his blanket nervously, "I was born with it".

Exhaling a rough breath Arthur closed his eyes. "So you've had magic this whole time."

Merlin's heart sank, "I'm sorry, I wanted to tell you Arthur, but-"

Holding his hands out, Arthur opened his eyes, "What excuse could you possibly have to justify not telling me? You really think you couldn't have trust me with this! I thought that you were… that we were friends." Arthur seemed to realize his voice had risen to an angry shout and looked away, taking a deep, shaky breath.

Merlin felt as thought Arthur had slapped him, his words cutting deep. There were things that Merlin could say to this, reasons that he'd compiled in his mind over time, explanations that made sense even under normal circumstances. But now that the moment had come, Merlin was utterly helpless. "You would have chopped my head off," he finally managed in a small voice.

Arthur was quiet for a few long moments "There are some who want you executed in accordance with the laws of Camelot. They saw how powerful you are, which I admit was rather alarming, and do not want to risk you turning against Camelot."

"I knew the risks I was taking. I won't try and run, whatever decision you make." said Merlin.

There was a flash of hurt in Arthur's eyes, "You really think that I would ever… "he looked down, "You really have such a low opinion of me."

Startled at this unexpected reaction Merlin shook his head "no, no that's not what… I…" he sighed "Arthur, for years I've heard you, seen the way you feel about magic. I- I didn't want to make you choose."

Pointing a rigid finger at Merlin Arthur's voice was uneven, "You've lied to me." there was a pause as he rested a fist against his lips. "You thought you could keep it secret forever?"

Merlin was startled: for a few moments the stoic man who hardly ever let anything phase him was gone. Arthur seemed almost vulnerable, and Merlin could see just how hurt he was, "I'm sorry."

"You said that."

"It's true."

Standing, Arthur gesturing wildly "I don't… I can't." The anger as well as the pain of betrayal was now unmistakable in Arthur's mannerisms.

Face falling Merlin swiped at the tears that had formed in his eyes before they could fall.

The sight of Merlin's tears seemed to almost calm Arthur and he took a deep breath "I'm sorry- I just, I need to be somewhere else till I… I process all of it."

Despite everything a flicker of hope rekindled inside of Merlin. Would he be allowed to stay? "So, you're not banishing me?"

Shaking his head Arthur sat back down on the very edge of the stool.

"And… you're not executing me?" clarified Merlin uneasily.

"No." Arthur stared at Merlin, "But it was much easier to forgive you as you died in my arms."

It was said very bluntly and Merlin almost flinched, "I understand"

There was a long and heavy silence between them, the newly revealed secrets and tangled feelings forming some kind of thorny divide between them, "I have asked George to take over your duties." said Arthur finally.

Merlin was acutely aware that Arthur hadn't said exactly how long George was to be taking over his duties, but was too nervous of what the answer would be to ask. Would Arthur still trust him enough to allow him to continue on as his manservant? The thought sent a chill through him.

The next thing either of them knew the door banged open and Gwaine, Percival, Elyan, and Leon came into the room. "Merlin, welcome back to the world of the living!" announced Gwaine, but they all stopped when they saw the scene they had walked in on.

Rising, Arthur avoided looking at Merlin, his face becoming an expressionless mask. "Get your rest; I'll visit you again once I've… sorted things out." 

Arthur had reached the door before Merlin said just loudly enough for him to hear, "I do have magic." Taking a chance Merlin and held out one palm, "Hine on ylde eft gewunigen wilgesiþas, þonne wig cume." His eyes flooded with gold and a revolving blue bubble of light formed in his palm. Arthur turned and as Merlin had hoped there was a flicker of recognition in his eyes "I use it for you Arthur, always for you". 

He could feel all of the knights staring at him but he kept his eyes fixed on Arthur alone. After a long moment Arthur pulled open the door and walked out, brushing past Gaius on his way.

The light in Merlin’s hand slowly faded and he was left sitting in bed, looking rather forlornly at the spot where Arthur had been moments before. He lowered his hand again, clenching one fist around the sheets.

As to Merlin's magic, all the knights had come to terms with it, although some quicker than others. It was understandable how Arthur was having a much harder time. For one, he had grown up all his life hearing that magic was evil, and although the others had as well it had been the King, his Father, pressing this idea directly upon him. And besides, the bond that Merlin and Arthur shared was beyond anything the knights could understand, it wasn't even logical. Nobody else could get away with treating Arthur as Merlin did without getting thrown in the stocks at least. But they had all grown to accept it, they all believed that Merlin had come back from the dead. Merlin had become like a little brother to them all, and his loss had had a profound effect on them all.

"It's good to see you alive again, we thought we'd lost you for good." said Gwaine with a wide grin.

"We were a bit worried when you collapsed after that girl disappeared, but it looks like it was nothing to worry about." Added Percival, also smiling.

"How could he not be? Gaius has hardly left his side until now." said Leon.

Merlin had unsteadily gotten out of bed, and was now surrounded by the Knights, all giving him their own kind of greeting.

Suddenly Gwaine seemed to realize something, "You… you were the old man…" 

Without warning he cuffed Merlin on the side of the head, not hard enough to actually hurt but not exactly gently. "Dragoon the Great? Really?"

"Well I couldn't exactly act like myself, could I?" Merlin exclaimed in indignation, unsuccessfully trying to pull away as Gwaine put him into a playful headlock. Although he had rather enjoyed tormenting the knights, he decided it was best not to mention it.

"Yeah? Well it seemed to come pretty naturally." said Percival, raising one eyebrow and crossing his arms over his broad chest, smirking. Leon smiled and nodded in consent, relaxing slightly in the light atmosphere.

Shaking his head Elyan smiled, moving to sit on the once more unoccupied stool.

Now that they all knew Dragoon the Great had never really meant any harm to Camelot it put all their dealings with him in a new perspective. When they thought about it, none of them had ever really been put into harm's way as a result of Dragoon's actions.

Gwaine finally released Merlin and they all laughed. But for Merlin the light hearted moment passed quickly as Leon's words came back to him-

("All I know for sure is that Arthur is having a very hard time with all of this.")

Merlin already knew that, but there was something about hearing it from a third party that made it seem even worse. What would happen? Could things ever be the same between himself and Arthur? This right here, this is how he wanted things to be again. But was that possible? He forced his thoughts away from that dark path with a question, "So you're all okay then?"

"What?" asked Elyan blankly.

"Well, you guys probably weren't treated very gently while in the care of Queen Jezebel."

"Imagine you asking us that. You actually died, and you're worrying about us having spent a week in a dungeon. That's just so… so typical of you." said Leon, sounding a bit baffled.

At the mention of Merlin dying everybody remembered the exact details of that day on the field when Merlin had battled alone for all of Camelot. For just a moment, they had all forgotten how serious the situation was.

("You've lied to me. You thought you could keep it secret forever?")

There was a very long and painful silence where nobody knew what to say. It was finally broken by Merlin, "I'm sorry." Merlin felt tears welling up in his eyes and sat on the edge of the bed, propped his elbows on his knees, and rested his face in his hands."I've really messed up".

None of them needed Merlin to specify, they knew exactly what he was apologizing for, although not all of them thought he had to in the first place. People like Gwaine, and Percival. But nobody, not even Gwaine, knew what to say. They knew it must be devastating for Merlin to have Arthur react like he was, but there was nothing any of them could do about it.

Merlin felt rather than heard the Knights leave one by one, unsure what else to do. After a while of sitting in silence he felt the bed sag slightly as somebody sat down next to him. He expected Gaius to speak, but instead the voice when it came belonged to Gwaine,"He will forgive you. He cares for you and he does trust you, I can feel it. Only someone who feels very strongly would be so hurt."

Turning his head, Merlin considered Gwaine, "And how do you feel about it". The question slipped out and he immediately wished he could take it back.

"I suspected for a long time to be honest." admitted Gwaine rather casually.

"And you never said anything?" asked Merlin in disbelief.

"I knew that you would say something when you were ready. It's not like you didn't have reasons, I wanted to respect that. Besides, I might have been wrong." He reached over, putting one arm companionably around Merlin's shoulders "Merlin, you're my friend and whether you have magic or not isn't going to change that. I still trust you, and I know that Arthur feels the same even if it's taking him a little longer to figure that out."

Closing his eyes Merlin thought how badly he wanted to believe that, more than anything else, "Thanks Gwaine, you're a true friend".

Ruffling Merlin's hair fondly Gwaine stood up, "Just remember you're not alone".

Nodding, tears once again blurred Merlin’s vision. He watched as Gwaine walked to the door, pausing and looking back when he reached the doorway, "Don't worry about Arthur, he'll come around. Anybody can see that you mean a lot to him".

With that Gwaine left, and though Merlin would have thought it impossible only seconds before, he felt a little better.


	10. Confusion and Clarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It is more shameful to distrust our friends than to be deceived by them.”  
> -Confucius

Gwaine was on edge as he stripped off his armor alongside the other Knights, Merlin's face haunting his thoughts. He had been right; this entire situation was a mess. 

Someone had to say something; no, he had to say something. He had become more and more frustrated at Arthur over the last several hours of grueling training. It had been obvious Arthur had been channelling all his frustration, anger, and hurt into his fighting- one of the only outlets that he had.

"I'm actually not surprised." He finally said, deciding on a "maybe not so smart to bring up right now" subject.

"About what?" asked Elyan, glancing at Gwaine as he skillfully unbuckled his gauntlets.

"That Merlin has magic." everybody in the room tensed, glancing at Arthur. "I've actually suspected he had magic for a while now, but I decided that he had his reasons for keeping it a secret, and when he was ready to tell us he would." he said, echoing what he had told Merlin only hours before. "Why are you still sitting here Arthur? You should be there, with him!"

"Gwaine-" began Percival, but Gwaine spoke over him, "No, these things need to be said and nobody else is going to." Gwaine said rather harshly. Gwaine was surprising himself just as much as the others, but the memory of Merlin's sorrow and fear were eating at his insides, and it was all because of Arthur that his friend was so miserable. 

And it was true, these things had to be said and it was obvious that if he didn't do it they never would be. "He's always given everything for us, for you, hell he even died for us. Have you already forgotten that?"

Arthur said nothing, his expression unreadable.

"It doesn't matter that he has magic! After what we've seen, how can you believe that there is not good in magic, that every sorcerer is evil? You know what he said in the tent, when he was pretending to be Dragoon? he said "I believe in the future Arthur Pendragon will bring. And if I die while eliminating the greatest threat to his destiny, then so be it”, He knew he could die, and he still fought for you, for us, for all of Camelot." 

Gwaine's voice hadn't risen in volume, it hardly ever did when he got frustrated. But the depth of passion in his voice made him very hard to ignore.

"Careful Gwaine, you're speaking treason in front of your King." said Arthur quietly, though without real menace or anger.

For the first time Gwaine felt a twinge of disappointment in Arthur, "What a sad world it is, where when truth is spoken it's considered treason". With that Gwaine stood and walked out, leaving only stunned silence behind him.

 

================

 

Merlin was a sorcerer. Merlin was Emrys. Merlin had lied to him. Merlin was alive. And Gwaine was right.

Gwaine's outburst had rather unnerved Arthur, not only because it was so unexpected but because it had made him feel ashamed, which was quite the rare occurrence. Everything he had said had been dead on, but what Arthur knew in his heart to be true and what Arthur felt seemed to be two different things.

He had even admitted it once, Merlin had told everyone of his magic in an attempt to save Gwen's life when she had been accused of witchcraft. It had been Arthur himself who brushed the claim aside, writing them off as the ravings of a love sick boy.

 

("Merlin is such a wonder, but the wonder is that he's such an idiot! There's no way he can be a sorcerer.")

 

The burst of anger he had felt when he was visiting Merlin had taken him aback. He hadn't intended to yell at the person who had literally died for him, it had just kind of happened.

But that light at the end; that blue orb of light. 

 

(“Someone knew I was in trouble and... sent a light to guide the way.")

 

Had that been Merlin? It must have been; that was the reason Merlin had risked using his magic in such a delicate situation. To show him that he had always been there, dying or not. How had he forgotten it was only because of magic he had survived?  
Arthur stood and paced back and forth, replaying every adventure he had been on where something inexplicable had happened. Merlin was always there, of course he was, because he was always with Arthur. It wasn't unusual for a manservant to accompany his master, but the extent to which Merlin did it was. Unusual how often Merlin "disappeared" during danger, only to reappear after the danger had been taken care of.

 

("Do you know how many times I've had to save your royal backside?")

 

Arthur smiled wearily at the memory. He used to think Merlin hid during those times, out of fear, but he'd known the young man long enough to know that Merlin didn't really express fear the same way others do. And actually, when it came down to it he was very brave, and indeed, rather reckless at times. He had never hesitated to ride into a dangerous situation beside his King; often both unarmed and unprotected. Well, not unprotected. He had his magic.

Arthur collapsed into his chair with a sigh, feeling suddenly exhausted.

The door opened then closed behind him, but Arthur didn't turn to see who it was- he could guess easily enough from the sound of her footsteps. Gentle hands that could only belong to Guinevere rested on his shoulders from behind "Elyan told me what happened. Are you okay?"

"Honestly, I don't know." answered Arthur truthfully.

Gwen moved around the side, kneeling by the chair and taking his hand in hers. "How can you be like this after everything he's done?" There wasn't accusations or anger in her voice, simply confusion and curiosity.

Absently Arthur rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand "I don't care about his magic so much as I care that I'm not sure if I can trust him like I used to. He's lied to me all this time… for so many years I thought that I knew him."

"You do know him Arthur, we all do." said Gwen firmly.

"But I trusted him with everything, why couldn't he feel the same way?" Arthur looked at her as though begging her for answers, letting down his guard like he had when he had first gone to speak to Merlin. But unlike with Merlin when he had simply become overwhelmed, this time it was voluntary.

"Fear is a very powerful thing Arthur. The first thing that Merlin saw when he walked into Camelot was a man being executed for using Sorcery, and you have never shown any love or understanding for magic. How would that make you feel if you were in his place?" one corner of Gwen's mouth curved up in a small smile. "And besides, I've seen the way you two are around each other. It's obvious you care for him very, very much. Don't let this change that."

Arthur opened his mouth to protest and perhaps verbally abuse Merlin to make a point, but Gwen sternly put one finger to his lips to stop him.

"And he cares about you as well, nobody could fake what I see when you're together. And anyways, if he wasn't being himself do you really think he would act the way he does? Wouldn't he be much more polite?"

Arthur couldn't help but smile as he remembered how often Merlin simply treated him as another person instead of a prince, never worried about insulting him. And how he, for some mysterious reason, tolerated it. Merlin had bullied him into becoming a better person, telling him off whenever he thought he needed it. He was never afraid to stand up for what he believed, to tell Arthur when he thought that he was wrong. He didn't have to do most of what he did, he didn't have to always be there for Arthur. But he was, and he always had been.

 

("Merlin, what exactly are you going to do."  
"I'm going to be at your side, like i always am. Protecting you.")

 

From the moment Merlin pulled Arthur out of the way of that flying dagger all those years ago Merlin had put himself in harms way for Arthur without hesitation. And why? Arthur teased him, insulted him, took out his frustration on him, but Merlin never failed to be there when Arthur needed him.

Yes, he drove Arthur mad at times, with his lack of respect, inane chatter, constant clumsiness, and occasional idiocrite. But he'd become Arthur's closest friend, his confidant. The person the King could trust above anybody else. It was shattering to find out that he had been lying all that time. But no, Merlin was not Morgana or Agravaine, this was different. Had he really been wrong to trust Merlin? Merlin had never led him astray, never attempted to manipulate, harm, or plot against him.

He felt cold as he remembered all the times he had spoken about the evil of magic, directly to Merlin. It was natural of course, Merlin was the one he always talked to, confided in. No wonder he had been afraid.

 

("All I know, is that now I've lost both my parents to magic. It is pure evil. I'll never loose sight of that again.")

 

He was a little startled when Gwen put one hand on his cheek, looking at him understandingly. She had been silent for so long he had almost forgotten she was there, despite the comforting feeling of her hands over his.

"Remember how you felt while Merlin died in your arms: those are your feelings when they're unclouded by confusion and doubt. That was the moment when you were sure what mattered most to you." With that Gwen stood, kissing his forehead before leaving him to his thoughts.

Something that Gaius had once said came back to him forcefully- "I'm not the only one seeking to protect you. There are many more who believe in the world you are trying to create. One day you will learn Arthur, one day you will understand, just how much they've done for you."

Arthur had watched the Sorcerer he detested turn into his best friend: a best friend who was moreover fighting Morgana one-on-one, wielding magic the likes of which Arthur had never seen. Merlin had looked to him the moment he had transformed, looking just as shocked as Arthur felt. Then Merlin was stabbed through the heart and his own seemed to stop. He didn't think about himself or Camelot, it was Merlin he had feared for, and that his friend only had moments left to live. Merlin had died in the end, his last moments spent cradled in Arthur's arms. What had mattered most to him in that moment? That was easy: Merlin. Arthur would have given anything to bring him back, to take all the blood staining both of them and put it back, returning the life to his Merlin. 

Anything to revive him - magic and all.

His thoughts drifted back to the first night after his father had died; how he had stayed up all night in a vigil by his father's body. The next morning when he opened the doors Merlin had been sitting there quietly, waiting for him. He hadn't slept; he had stayed awake with Arthur, not leaving him to mourn alone as Arthur had thought. Arthur could never convey how much that had meant to him.

 

("You've been here all night?"  
"I didn't want you to feel that you were alone.") 

 

Why? There would be no reason anybody else other than a friend, loyal beyond description, would do that. It was not expected or required, but much of what Merlin did wasn't. Merlin had always gone out of his way for Arthur, and here Arthur was repaying his loyalty with doubt.

 

("Why do you care so much for the boy? He's just a servant")

 

His father had asked him that once, and he still didn't know exactly how to phrase an answer. Only, Merlin wasn't just a servant to Arthur, and he hadn't been for a very long time. He loved Merlin just as he would a brother, and his death had left a hollow space in his heart, filled only by his return.

The core of the problem was that magic was still illegal. So he either did the unthinkable and banished or executed Merlin… or he would have to go against all of his previous beliefs about magic and lift the ban.


	11. A Place in Camelot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin and Arthur are soul mates, because a soul mate doesn't have to be romantic, it is just the person who is the other half of you, completes you, and they are whole with each other.  
> -My random musings.

"Hey Merlin, think fast."

Merlin turned in the chair he was sitting on at the pitted table to see an apple sailing towards him. Automatically his hands went up to catch it but thanks to his usual clumsiness he didn't quite manage to keep a hold of it and dropped it with a thunk onto the floor.

"So you really are a klutz." said Arthur, standing in the doorway with his hands on his hips.

"I've always had magic Arthur," said Merlin, standing up, walking to the middle of the room facing Arthur, "It doesn't make me a different person just because you know now." Merlin tried to sound cross, but was so delighted that Arthur was actually acting like his old self that he couldn't quite pull it off.

Gaius who had been sitting across the table from Merlin smiled and shook his head slightly. Without a word he stood and left, leaving Arthur and Merlin alone.

Arthur stood aside to let him pass, walking in and closing the door behind him. "You know, it took me one person telling me off and another reminding me of some things to get me here after only one day."

"Somebody other than me told you off?" asked Merlin, genuinely startled.

"Yes, Gwaine."

Merlin didn't know what to think about that.

"I didn't say it before, but thank you. " Arthur rubbed the back of his head, moving farther into the room and obviously trying to piece together whatever it was he wanted to say, "Merlin… I just want you to know-"

"It's fine, you don't have to say anything." Merlin interrupted him quickly; not wanting Arthur to feel any obligation to endure a conversation straying into uncomfortable topics. For Arthur these mainly consisted of any kind of conversation in which he had to state how he really felt about something or towards someone. Feelings weren't his strong point.

But Arthur surprised him by waving his comment away "No, I do. When you died in my arms- in that moment I knew what mattered most in this whole mess of a situation: you. I can't pretend that how you lied to me didn't affect me. But I can't help thinking about how, whenever I actually listened to, you never led me astray." He looked Merlin straight in the eye, "Merlin, can I continue to trust you?"

"Always." Merlin answered without hesitation.

"Why should I believe you?" replied Arthur promptly.

Focusing his complete attention on Arthur, Merlin stared intently into his eyes, "I know that I've lied to you about my magic, but please believe me when I say that I didn't want to. I would do anything for you Arthur, give anything." There was a long pause, and when Merlin next spoke it was almost in a whisper, "Even if you were to ask me to leave and never return… I would."

There was a moment's silence as Arthur contemplated him "When you died I could believe you wouldn’t just bounce back like you always seem to. I just kind of assumed you would always be there with me, the thought that I could lose you was just…" Arthur let the sentence trail off, leaving it unfinished. "But then I did lose you and it was the worst thing that could have happened. But you came back and I know that I don't ever want to lose you again. I want you to stay." clarified Arthur, "And if magic is part of what makes you who you are Merlin, then I wouldn't have you any other way."   
Taking a deep breath Arthur let it out slowly, "I'm going to lift the ban on magic".

Merlin froze; staring at Arthur in disbelief. This was more than he could have hoped for considering everything that had happened; especially how Arthur had been acting the first time he had come to see Merlin after he had just woken up. He had a feeling that Gwen was the person who had reminded him of some things- he would have to thank her at a later time.

"I'm going to have George take over the majority of your chores" continued Arthur, "You know him, he'll probably think it's an honor to muck out the stables ad polish my armor. Now that magic will soon no longer be banned, I will need you to assist me with matters regarding the magical world. Think of yourself as a kind of, court Warlock to the King."

Merlin's mouth fell open in shock but Arthur didn't pause, "However, you will still be expected to wake me in the morning and bring me my meals, wait on me at feasts, and accompany me on hunting trips and other various outings."

Arthur paused then, as though expecting Merlin to say something. When he didn't he plowed on, though speaking gently and less formally, more like friend, "From now on, you must realize that you can talk to me as an equal if you have suspicions." There was a pause, "And Merlin, you can always talk to me if you need someone other than Gaius to listen to your problems, magical or not. It's always been that way, but I don't think you ever really comprehended it."

Merlin felt rather overwhelmed and sat there, absorbing this sudden rush of information. Was he dreaming?

Arthur looked at him significantly, one side of his mouth curved up in a smile "Well Merlin, this is the point in the conversation where you thank me, and in gratitude show me some of the respect that you so often lack."

"I- I don't know what to say…" managed Merlin at last.

"Here's the thing," began Arthur, and Merlin probably imagined it but he rather thought Arthur said it fondly, "You are rather annoying, clumsy, stubborn, and pretty terrible at your job but I've grown fond your mindless chatter. And besides, I've wasted too much time on you. Where do you think I'd find the time to train another servant"?

"Well George seems pretty capable" muttered Merlin, unable to think of anything else to say. It was rather alarming, the abrupt change from how Arthur was yesterday to how he was acting today. What on Earth had happened?

"Yes he is… but he's not you." Arthur walked closer, folding his arms and looking slightly uncomfortable, "Look Merlin, I know I'm not always that appreciative of you. But I want you to know, that…" Arthur paused, glancing away, "I want you to know that you are my best friend, and I don't know what I would do without you. I need you Merlin. "

Merlin swallowed hard, eyes stinging. "Really?"

"Yes."

Merlin knew Arthur had never been any good with emotional discussions, indeed if he HAD to say something nice he would usually turn around after and counter it with an insult. He had been rather repressed by his upbringing and had always had a natural reserve that made meaningful conversations a struggle for him, so Merlin waited for the inevitable change of subject. But the atmosphere was much lighter now, and Merlin felt a warmth inside that Arthur had actually accepted him for who he was. Sure it would take some getting used to, he would have to earn some trust back, lots of things would change, but life would go on and he would truly have a place in Camelot.

Arthur considered Merlin for a few moments, raising one eyebrow, "So, have you ever actually been to the tavern?"

Merlin grinned, "Maybe once or twice."


End file.
